Ottawa's Mike Fisher Should Be Very Afraid of Carrie Underwood's Passion for Baseball

Carrie Underwood
Maybe this December, Tony Romo can blame any Cowboys' troubles on being distraught over the engagement of his ex-girlfriend, Underwood.

Ottawa Senator Mike Fisher and music darlin' Carrie Underwood are engaged. He proposed Sunday and confirmed it at a press conference Monday, much to the chagrin of all the single ladies in Ottawa.

Underwood, too, has made no secret of her feelings for Fisher, and in the liner notes of her newest album, she wrote (or, USMagazine.com says she wrote, we don’t own the disc yet), “Thank you #12. You are the most amazing addition to my life! You … have had such an amazing hand in the building of this album and in the growth of me as a person … ”

So obviously we’ve been listening to Carrie all wrong this whole time. We thought her songs were all about puppies, and smiling, and small-town Oklahoma girls finding love if they just open their heart up enough to accept it, but nay nay. Her songs have been about Mike Fisher. And hockey. Let’s take a second looksie at some of her most popular ballads, shall we?
Song Title: “Jesus, Take The Wheel”


You Thought It Was About:
A girl going through a hard time finally realizing that if she just has a little faith in the Lord above, it will all be OK.

But Really:
It’s a metaphor for the knee injury Fisher sustained in April of 2008. I mean come on, “Spinning/On a thin black sheet of glass.” Clearly a reference to Fisher’s ON-ICE COLLISION with Toronto’s Alex Steen. And the lyric “it’s been a long hard year.” A slump? A coaching change? A loss in the first round of the playoffs to Pittsburgh? A long hard year for the Senators indeed. And don’t give us that, "but that album wasn’t out in 2008" excuse. Carrie has amazing foresight.

Song Title: “Before He Cheats”

You Thought It Was About: A girl getting revenge on her no-good, cheating boyfriend by keying his car and smashing his windshield with a Louisville Slugger.

But Really: Underwood’s passionate, aggressive tone and her threats to trash her boyfriend's car really just symbolize the passion and aggression with which Fisher plays, proven by his nomination for the Frank J. Selke Trophy as the best defensive forward in 2006. But he probably shouldn’t cheat on her, just in case the literal interpretation has any merit.

Song Title: “Don’t Forget To Remember Me”


You Thought It Was About: Always taking the time to stop and remember the people we love. Including MeeMaw and God.

But Really: In the light of all the new studies on the dangers of concussions in professional sports (especially the NHL), this song is Carrie’s subliminal warning to Mike that he better take it easy. And if he doesn’t, well, see the lyrics to “Before He Cheats.” Same rules apply.