When you think about it, the combination of plastic head and fleshy legs is a little disconcerting.
Purdue Pete, the 70-year-old icon of Purdue University, is getting a makeover. Partly because Purdue officials want to “soften” and “update” grumpy ol’ Pete. And party because, well, he’s scaring the bejeebies out of little kids. Says Purdue athletics director Morgan Burke in the Indianapolis Star: “Look, I'm the one who gets the phone calls from parents who say that big face scares their 3-year-old.” Hmmm.
Maybe Pete does need an update. But — and really, we mean no offense to the 3-year-olds of West Lafayette, Ind. — we think there’s a bunch of mascots out there WAY scarier than Purdue Pete. Enough to populate a Top 10 list, even. In fact, here it is: SportsCenter.com’s Official List of 10 Mascots That Are Way Scarier Than The Purdue Pete. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Paydirt Pete of UTEP
For this first one, we don’t even have to take it outside the name Pete. Paydirt’s enormous glowering eyes say “I don’t care for you,” his mustache says, “I lack self-restraint not to hurt you,” and … he has no mouth. Which is extra creepy to us.
The Fighting Pickle of the North Carolina School for the Arts
Pickles aren’t supposed to be quarrelsome and aggressive. They’re supposed to be happy. And friendly. And delicious with deli sandwiches. So the Fighting Pickle has us all kinds of confused. And some might think those crooked buckteeth and googly eyes present an air of happiness. We think they present an air of a kosher dill who’s one “I like bread and butter pickles better” comment away from snapping.
Hairy Dawg of the University of Georgia
It looks like they've just taken Uga, Georgia’s real life bulldog mascot, and replaced all his cute parts, like droopy eyes and a slobbery tongue, with scary parts, like a menacing scowl and fangs.
Louie the Lumberjack of Northern Arizona
Dude had to throw his HATCHET to the ground in order to pick up that … is that an ooozie? OK, no. It’s just a t-shirt gun. Phew. Still, in Louie’s hands it looks much more threatening. As anything would. Because he’s scary as all get out.
Montezuma the Aztec Warrior of San Diego State University
And we go from one kind of scary to another. Not so much in the “I’m a Threatening Warrior” way, but in the “You’re Not Sure If I’m Wearing Pants Under This Shield, And That’s A Scary Thought” kind of way. Either way, mission accomplished.
Peter the Anteater of the University of California Irvine
We don’t like that coy smirk. It might suggest “hey, I’m fun, I’m an anteater, I’m gonna eat some ants!” Or it might suggest “hey, I’m fun, I’m an anteater, I’m gonna steal your lunch money then give you a swirlie.” (Shudder).
Brutus the Buckeye of the Ohio State University
That tiny hat. On that gigantic head. It’s just so … unnerving. Not to mention, what is a Buckeye?!? Always beware of the unknown.
Hey Reb of the University of Nevada Las Vegas
As a rule, we don’t mess with anyone whose mustache is bigger than his wingspan. And Reb’s mustache is bigger than Kevin Garnett’s wingspan. So we’re just going to back away slowly.
Stormy of Lake Erie College
He looks like he could be the brother of the Snow Miser. An evil brother. Who likes to wear dish gloves. Though, with one quick eyebrow wax, we imagine Stormy could look quite friendly.
WuShock of Wichita State University
When your official description of WuShock is a big, bad, muscle-bound bundle of wheat, that's your first clue that your mascot might be a little scary. When your mascot also looks like a blond-haired, demonic version of Sideshow Bob, that's also something to evaluate.
Tags: Haha, mascots, Uga, Jimmy Clausen, Purdue Pete, Paydirt Pete of UTEP, Louie the Lumberjack of Northern Arizona, Hairy Dawg of the University of Georgia, The Fighting Pickle of The North Carolina School for the Arts, snow miser, Peter the Anteater of the University of California Irvine, Montezuma the Aztec Warrior of San Diego State University, Brutus the Buckeye of the Ohio State University, Stormy of Lake Erie College