AP Photo/Jae C. Hong
We'd rather see this image frozen in a bas-relief, but we'll take the statue.

In his third year at Alabama, Nick Saban led the Crimson Tide to a National football title. And apparently, that’s good enough to get a bronze version of yourself in the Walk of Champions plaza at Bryant-Denny Stadium these days.

Nothing against Saban, or his championship win, but … really, Alabama? THREE years and we’re handing out statues already? If bronzed figures could roll their eyes, then Bear Bryant’s statue (that’s the Bear Bryant who coached the Crimson Tide from 1958 to 1982 and won six titles with the school) would totally be rolling its eyes.

We’re just saying, if Saban gets a statue, surely two-year player and 2009 Heisman winner Mark Ingram deserves one, too. And definitely three-year player Greg McElroy. And for that matter, why not give one to former Tide basketball player Mo Williams. And Latrell Sprewell. And Sela Ward. You know, from “Sisters” (and a former Bama cheerleader)? OK maybe Sela’s a stretch.

Anyways, longstanding university fixture or not, the University of Alabama said it would unveil the Saban statue sometime in August (no exact date has been set), which means there’s still time for us to weigh in. Because clearly, Saban’s a different kind of Alabama hero than the others honored in the walk (in addition to Bryant, there’s Wallace Wade, Frank Thomas and Gene Stallings), so he deserves a different kind of statue.

First off, the university said the statue will be bronze, but we think there are other materials that would be a bit more fitting for Saban’s monument. Namely, obsidian, a black rock that occurs when volcano lava cools really fast. The black, of course, is to commemorate the Johnny Cash getup that was such a crucial part of Saban’s persona – and a metaphor for his no-nonsense attitude – all during championship week out in Pasadena last January.

Next up, Saban’s facial expression. He can’t be smiling, that much we know for sure. But somehow, the calm look the other statues display doesn't seem right either. Our No. 1 recommendation is “Angry Grimace.” But “Pouty Stare” works, too. There’s always “You’ll Be Sorry, Whoever Just Did Something I’m Not Happy With.” But we’re not sure that would fit in as well with the other looks.

Finally, accessories. Like, his players for instance. The Saban statute should be placed on the shoulders of Ingram and the other five players that won All-American honors for Alabama last season, like guard Michael Johnson, kicker Leigh Tiffin, defensive tackle Terrence Cody, linebacker Rolando McClain and cornerback Javier Arenas. In addition to that? Well, certainly a straw hat. And maybe an Oscar trophy, commemorating Saban’s part in “The Blind Side,” the movie for which Sandra Bullock won an Academy Award. And most definitely the infamous red Gatorade bucket. In fact, can we turn the statue into a fountain? Nothing says "Roll Tide" like a Coach Saban statue spewing red Gatorade. Done and done.