"A parade for my consecutive starts streak? Guys, you shouldn't have."
Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo has never missed a scheduled start at any level. The 33-year-old right-hander has been taken the ball for every start, from his days at Hernando High School through his time with Cincinnati. Bro-Yo didn't even take musical-leave from the Red Sox to record his debut album Covering the Bases back in 2005. Apparently it's only Joel Zumaya who misses time for playing in a band.
However, Arroyo's streak of scheduled starts is now in jeopardy. During the second inning of Cincinnati's 2-1 victory over St. Louis, Arroyo took a Colby Rasmus grounder to his left calf and limped around the field for a couple of minutes. He stayed in the game to pitch an eight-inning, one-run gem, but Arroyo didn't seem so optimistic about his chances of starting next game. "I’ve been hit a lot harder but not in this spot. It’s killing me. It got me in the belly of the calf. It’s got my foot locked up." With Arroyo's next start not scheduled until Tuesday in Florida, we thought we'd offer up some alternative healing solutions that the righty might be able to use to speed up his healing process and keep the streak alive.
With a leg injury, Arroyo will likely have to stay local, as traveling could cause a setback. First stop — LeBron James' crib. The reigning NBA MVP knows a thing or two about getting his legs ready for game day. As opposing lineups are being introduced, Cavaliers assistant athletic trainer Mike Mancias massages James' legs with a muscle-warming concoction called "jump juice." This antidote is more than proven as the Cavs hold the NBA's best record and Bron-Bron is the favorite to win another MVP. If Arroyo can convince James to put aside his allegiance to the Yanks for one day, Arroyo could score "the king" of all remedies.
If James won't budge, Proctor & Gamble's headquarters are located in Cincinnati. Their purpose is to provide products that "improve the lives of the world's consumers, now and for generations to come." You have to assume that with a stable of products like Olay, Zest and Ivory, P&G could cook up a special bar of something that heals calf muscles. If not, Arroyo can always pick up some free Pantene or Head & Shoulders to maintain that gorgeous head of hair.
And if he's too sore to leave his home, Arroyo could always purchase a hyperbaric chamber and have it shipped overnight. These devices speed up the healing process by increasing the amount of oxygen carried to the blood. Before buying, Arroyo should double-check his chamber has built-in speakers. He might want to pass the time by lying back, closing his eyes, and playing his rendition of Matchbox Twenty's "3 A.M." over and over again.