Photo: Doug Pensinger/Getty Images
Scoreboard says it's about time for a secret meeting
After losing four straight games, the Broncos have called a team meeting without coaches. This raises two burning questions:

1. Has a players-only meeting ever, in the history of sports, helped a team turn its season around? It's pretty much the first sign that your season is on life support, right?

2. What exactly is the "agenda" at these things?

Well, prepare yourself to give thanks, sports fans, because we were lucky enough to secure a completely fabricated copy of the Broncos closed-door powwow.

Proposed Agenda: Broncos Team Meeting

8 a.m. to 9 a.m.
Team Building Activity: Gatorade Power Hour.

9 a.m. to 9:30 a.m.
The Marshall and Stokely Variety Show: Yuk it up with the comedic stylings of the two Brandons.

9:30 a.m. to 10 a.m.
Brian Dawkins' Photo Hunt.

10 a.m. to 10:15 a.m.
Stretch

10:15 a.m. to 10:45 a.m.
The Circle of Trust Airing of Grievances.

10:45 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.
Bronco Book Club: selected readings from, "The Playbook."

11:20 a.m. to 11:45 a.m.
Positive Affirmations with Miles the Mascot.

11:45 a.m. to 12 p.m.
Kyle Orton's Honesty Box.

12 p.m. to 1 p.m.
Catered lunch from Boston Market. Players are responsible for providing their own drinks.

1 p.m. to 1:30 p.m.
Decorating your hotel room so it feels a little more like home.

1:30 p.m. to 2 p.m.
Pin the Tail on the Bronco.

2 p.m. to 2:30 p.m.
Tackling Healthcare Reform: A Brief Debate.

2:30 p.m. 3 p.m.
Break Out Groups (By Position): Trust Falls

3 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Guest Speaker: Tyra Banks
Topic: “My Day In A Fat Suit: Why We Should Support All Types of Linemen And Their Bodies”

4 p.m. to 5 p.m.
"Beat New York" Locker Decorating

5 p.m. to 6 p.m.
Ice cream social.

Go Broncos!