October 24, 2010 7:00 PM ET
Magic Johnson's first attempt at pulling a rabbit out of a hat didn't quite go so well.
Magic Johnson just put some extra money in his account last week by selling off his L.A. Lakers stock, as well as more than 100 Starbucks franchises. Rumors immediately started flying that he might be interested in purchasing his very own sports franchise, further fueled by Johnson saying he'd love to bring pro football back to Los Angeles. Could the wheels be in motion to bring the NFL back to the City of Angels for the first time in 16 years?
If so, we'd love the opportunity to help Magic Johnson. So, forgive our presumption, but we've come up with a team name, logo, jersey and some extra accoutrement so all Mr. Johnson has to do is put up the money and create the franchise. Here's what we came up with:
Since the owner and founder would be Erving "Magic" Johnson, we thought the perfect homage to the team's founding father would be to call the team the Los Angeles Magicians. Just think of all the headlines when the team is successful. For example: "Magicians Make Opponent's Hopes Disappear," or "L.A. Offense Has Tricks Up Its Sleeve." The possibilities are as endless as a David Blaine publicity stunt.
Jersey and Helmet
We've come to realize that a lot of today's magicians dress no better than a college student on a Sunday morning. Remember the days when a tuxedo was as much a part of the magician as the magic wand and top hat? We do, and that's why the L.A. Magicians jersey will look like a tuxedo (black for home, white for away ... think of those classy tuxedo t-shirts), bow-tie and all. Following suit, the helmet logo will be an upside down top hat with a football-wielding rabbit popping out of it -- something we like to call, "adorably menacing."
Mascot, Cheerleaders and Field Effects
The aforementioned "adorably menacing" rabbit from the helmet comes to life, wearing full pads and having his ears slicked back to make him a little cooler. He'll make his entrance during every home game by jumping out of a giant top hat, followed by the Magician Cheerleaders "magically" appearing somewhere on the field or in the stands. Of course, each halftime show would have to be some sort of crazy Criss Angel-ish magic stunt. The crowd will go nuts every time!
Magic Johnson, your Los Angeles NFL team awaits you. All we ask for in exchange are some season tickets ... and maybe the chance to don the mascot outfit once or twice.