Clearing the Bases: Colon blow-up, LaHair

First base: Well, it was about time a slugger got off the schneid, especially at home, and especially after all the fuss made over his slow start. Naturally, we’re talking about Giancarlo Stanton. Who else could we be talking about? But after having to hear all of the complaints about park dimensions in the Marlins’ new discotheque, aquarium, entertainment complex, and less-than-ordinary baseball venue decorated in the electric boogalloo end of the color palette, the good news is that whatever its other distractions, Marlins Aquarium Park is not a venue that will forever defy Stanton’s fence-busting power. As for the unfortunate detail that he jacked an Earl Weaver special for three runs in the ninth inning down by seven off “why’s he here?” D-backs southpaw du jour Mike Zagurski, well, that’s for the accountants and the bitter few in the stands waiting to see it to quibble over.

Second base: What can you say about the toxic cleanup site found on the mound in Camden Yards after the A’s went China Syndrome and totally melted down in the bottom of the ninth against the Orioles? The O’s are newsworthy enough for their “yeah, we matter too” start, but c’mon. A’s manager Bob Melvin leaving Bartolo Colon out there in the ninth against the heart of the Orioles order when the Beefy One is just weeks shy of his 39th birthday seemed like carelessness at best. Maybe it was a case of mistaken identity ... for the second coming of Luis Tiant? Regardless, Colon was gassed, and once the Orioles lit a match, something was bound to combust, in this case, Grant Balfour.

Third base: Has anybody had a quieter great April than the Cubs’ Bryan LaHair? The journeyman hasn’t just gotten his first big break in the big leagues as a 29-year-old, he’s delivered the best first-month OPS of any first baseman in the majors (1.197). As good a prospect as Anthony Rizzo is and as good a career as you can expect him to have, LaHair’s making it easy for the Cubs to leave Rizzo in corn country while he makes the most of his first real opportunity. Is it really any surprise that a guy born on Guy Fawkes Day (that’s Nov. 5 for all of us from everywhere else but Great Britain) would explode once he was finally given the chance?

Home plate: The tweet of the night goes to Stephanie Liscio of It’s Pronounced ‘Lajaway’, when she noted: