This made me LOL:

Jermaine Dye is interested in playing for the Mariners. The only question is whether they would have any interest in him.

The 36-year old slugger hit .250 last year with 27 home runs for the White Sox but is still unsigned. He has reportedly turned down offers from both the Cubs and the Nationals, but would be interested in becoming a Mariner.

"Seattle is a team he focused on this off-season," said Bob Bry, Dye's agent. "He was disappointed that there was not more interest from the club."

Despite his disappointment, Seattle remains on the (presumably short) list of teams that Dye would consider. And whereas there have been reports that he has been unwilling to accept a lesser role (either as a platoon player or a designated hitter), he has either softened his demands or would be willing to in Seattle.

Bry sees Dye as a fit as a "platoon partner for Ken Griffey Junior at DH, a backup right-handed option at first base and another option in left field."

--snip--

... Dye is also known as a clubhouse leader.

In other news, I'm interested in getting Bill Simmons money without having to do all that work.

Except for the Royals' bullpen, this is the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've seen this season.

Shall we make a list of things the Mariners already have too many of?

• clubhouse leader (check)
• platoon partner for Junior (check)
• right-handed option at first base (check)
• another option in left field (check)
• left fielder who can't play left field (check)

lf you ranked all 30 teams by their need for a player like Jermaine Dye, the Mariners would come in 30th.

Hey, I don't blame Dye for wanting to play for the Mariners, or his agent for grasping at a really thin straw; Seattle's a lovely place to spend the summer and agents have to eat, too. But if Dye wants this to happen, he'd better start praying that Mike Sweeney or Milton Bradley gets hurt. And even if one of them does get hurt (or released), the M's would just summon Ryan Garko or Ryan Langerhans from Tacoma.

If Dye really wants to play, he may have to decide between retirement or taking less money than he wants, from a team that doesn't play in the shadow of Mt. Rainier. Wouldn't we all like the luxury of that choice?

Update: Ha! I've already forgotten that Garko's a Ranger. Let's just replace him with Tommy Everidge and call it good, OK?