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Thursday, June 9, 2011
Mike Carp and the all-fish team

By David Schoenfield

The Mariners recalled Mike Carp Wednesday and he went 1-for-4 with a double, serving as the team's designated hitter. Carp had been crushing the ball at Triple-A Tacoma, where he was hitting .348 with 19 home runs in 57 games. Whether or not he'll be able to help the Seattle offense remains to be seen (he may also see time in left field), but I know this: He's a member of the all-fish team. With help from my pal Ted Bishop ...

C -- Steve Lake. Hey, you gotta catch the fish somewhere.

1B -- Randy Bass. Hit 238 home runs in the minor leagues, but never got much a chance in the majors. He went to Japan and became one of the greatest hitters in Japanese history, winning two Triple Crowns and hitting 54 home run season.

Billy the Marlin
Hey, our team needs a mascot.
2B -- Cod Myers. The Adam Kennedy of the 1880s.

3B -- Neal Finn. Nicknamed Mickey, he hailed from Brooklyn and played for the Dodgers and Phillies. He was an alternate on the 1932 Olympic bobsled team but died during the 1933 season following surgery on an ulcer.

SS -- Lip Pike. A star in the National Association, the first professional league, leading the circuit in home runs and RBIs in 1872. You gotta love that they kept track of baseball statistics in 1872.

IF -- Bobby Sturgeon. A shortstop and second baseman with the Cubs in the '40s, hit one career home run in 420 games.

OF -- Tim Salmon. Hit 299 career home runs, all with the Angels.

OF -- Kevin Bass. An NL All-Star with the Astros in 1986, when he hit .311 with 20 home runs.

OF -- George Haddock. Played from 1888 to 1894. Also pitched, giving our team some versatility. His nickname was "Gentleman George."

OF -- Johnny Gill. Had 3,141 hits in 23 minor league seasons and 79 in the majors. Nicknamed "Patcheye," although he didn't actually wear a patch.

OF/1B -- Mike Carp. Will lead the Mariners to the pennant in 2011 with a .309 average and 21 home runs the rest of the season.

P -- Catfish Hunter. Hall of Famer won 224 games.

P -- Dizzy Trout. Won 170 games, including 27 for the Tigers in 1944.

P -- Mudcat Grant. According to his 1959 Topps baseball card, he got his nickname from a teammate who thought he was from Mississippi, the Mudcat State.

P -- Steve Trout. Dizzy's son, but not as good. Nicknamed "Rainbow."

P -- Jay Hook. Lost 19 games for the expansion Mets in 1962.

P -- Marlin Stuart. Won 23 games, mostly as reliever, in the 1940s and '50s, and once led the AL with six errors.

P -- Art Herring. Also known as "Red." You can't make this stuff up.

P -- Brandon Puffer. Had 5.09 ERA over seasons from 2002-2005.

P -- Chris Ray. Our closer!

Manager: Lip Pike.

Team executive: Chub Feeney.