"See, I can't really understand the Triangle [offense]," he admits. "There's 1,000 plays in the Triangle. It's such a challenge. I get so frustrated about it, I have to call my psychiatrist. So I just stay in my one spot in the corner. If I leave my spot, I get yelled at. Phil's gonna say, 'What are you doing over there?!?' So I just don't move."

Ron Ron is having his usual pregame meal. A can of beans. "Beans are nature's steroids!" he says.

But don't they, uh, backfire on you during the game?

"Not on me they don't. Other people, yeah. But I always blame it on the refs."