Or writing a column, at least. And it's spectacular.
- "Boris, LB, Pat Burke, a couple others and myself were turned away from the club at Caesar's Palace. The culprit: My Chuck Taylor sneaks. Can you believe that? NBA players getting turned away by a bouncer? Vegas doesn't mess around with their attire rules."
- "Here's what I do know: I like Amare. He's a good guy and he's working hard to get into shape and to be a good teammate. I also know that everybody on our team has a responsibility to give 100 percent. If you're not doing that, then you're letting down everyone who plays with you and for you. I think Amare is just feeling his way around right now. He's getting used to being back in the huddle and in the flow. Remember, he missed a whole year. That's a long time, and enough to make you feel disengaged from the team. So I give him the benefit of the doubt. He's working hard to find his way with us."
- "My first team out of college was the USBL's Tampa Bay Windjammers. My game day duty as a rookie was to fill up a garbage bag full of filthy jockstraps and socks, then sit in a laundry mat and wash them. So how did I become a tenacious player? Dirty jockstraps. Try it. You'll see."