FalseHoop: Sorry, we're out of the office :-)

September, 21, 2011
9/21/11
12:14
PM ET
Webb By Royce Webb
ESPN.com
Archive
Gotta have a little fun during this dismal lockout.

So last weekend we gave birth to FalseHoop, TrueHoop’s goofy little brother. For now, it’s still in diapers -- meaning it’s only on Twitter. When it learns to walk, there’s no telling where all it will go.

You can follow FalseHoop by clicking here, here or here.

Tuesday at FalseHoop we tossed up a Twitter hashtag called #NBAOutofOffice.

It’s a spoof on the automated replies one would send out via email and phone when away from the office.

For example:

FalseHoop
#NBAOutofOffice Deron Williams: I am currently assisting at a basketball branch in Turkey. Will return stateside ASAP.

Here are some of the best (and most printable) we received:

erivera7 Eddy Rivera
#NBAOutofOffice Dwight Howard: Hey world! Checking out some houses today in LA.

Bucksketball Jeremy Schmidt
#NBAOutofOffice Jerry Sloan: Jerry doesn't have a phone. Or an office.

ShotDrJr Rob Peterson
#NBAOutofOffice This is the NBPA. We're locked out of our office right now. Leave a message and we'll get back to you, uh, hmm ... (BEEP)

keithort keithort
#NBAOutofOffice Dirk Nowitzki: Running shooting drills. Will respond when I miss a rainbow.

LUDACLIPS Leiland Tanner
#NBAOutofOffice LeBron: I'm sorry, Mr. James isn't answering, please insert a 4th quarter and anybody else would be happy to help you.

BreeneMurphy Breene Murphy
#NBAOutofOffice Blake Griffin: I'm in the office ignoring your ridiculous attempt to delay my improvement. Or making a commercial.

MuggsyBogus Muggsy Bogus
#NBAOutofOffice Adam Morrison: At the gym, leave a message. I saw the movie The Replacements.

johnbkenney John Kenney
#NBAOutofOffice Eddy Curry: Extended lunch break. Call back this spring.

KnickerBlogger Mike Kurylo
#NBAOutofOffice Eddy Curry: Doughnut run. No ETA for return.

erivera7 Eddy Rivera
#NBAOutofOffice Monta Ellis: Hitting up the moped with some of my teammates. It's my first time doing it too!

Mike_Schmitz Mike Schmitz
#NBAOutofOffice Detlef Schrempf: I'm out shooting Season 4 of Parks and Recreation: http://bit.ly/nkqB0k … #whoknew?

Mrs__NBALockout I BLAME STERN
#NBAOutofOffice Kobe Bryant: I'm sorry I'm unavailable to take this call, but I'm in the Heat’s gym shooting all night long.

BreeneMurphy Breene Murphy
@FalseHoop #NBAOutofOffice: Wilson Chandler: I'm in the office, but my new extension is #24462 (CHINA).

My little contribution:

RoyceWebb Royce Webb
#NBAOutofOffice Allen Iverson: I'm on extended leave. If you need an Answer right away, please notify my agent.

And the winner is …

forumbluegold Darius Soriano
#NBAOutofOffice Phil Jackson: Rings and rings and rings and rings and rings ...

Royce Webb

Director, Content Analytics
Royce Webb is the director of analytics for ESPN Digital and Print Media.

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