ESPN NBA

OK, here we go. I have snacks. I have League Pass. I have four remote controls. I have a commitment to try to keep tabs on at least one jillion of tonight's ten jillion games. I have cleared the next several hours of my schedule, and I am determined to see something spectacular. So, you know, come on NBA ... wow me.

• I have actually been watching Chicago at New Jersey for some time. Jason Kidd is really fun to watch tonight. No shooting, but tons of vision and even more determination. The Bulls get a lot of mileage out of crowding the dribble, but you do that at your own risk against someone with his vision. As of halftime, the Nets look like they're having fun.
• Before the draft I started calling Thabo Sefolosha "Swiss Mister." I stand by that. No better nickname has emerged. Please, do me a favor and start calling him that.
• The interior players in this game are Mikki Moore, Bostjan Nachbar, Ben Wallace, and P.J. Brown. You know how people used to complain that the NBA was all about people posting up?
• Nets lead by 12 at halftime. I hope they win, so they can face Toronto in the first round. Please.
• I have enough games to watch already, but now Toronto and Philadelphia are engaged in a pretty hot little crunch time. One point game, less than three minutes left.
• Orlando will not be losing tonight. They are up more than twenty in the closing minutes as Miami's team is thinking more about New Jersey -- who can earn them the opponent they want, which is Cleveland.
• And Cleveland will win easily in Milwaukee, too, putting some more pressure on the Chicago Bulls, who have plenty to think about during this second half. They're the team with the most to lose tonight. Between Scott Skiles and Ben Wallace they have beaucoup fight.
• Willie Green had a big night and Andre Miller owned crunch time. The Sixers not only win, but manage to make crunch time not all that interesting against Toronto.
  
• The Knicks are in a tight game too, against Charlotte. I'm coming New Jersey, I want to see that game! But at the moment, this is a one point game. Actually, after Steve Francis draws a double and kicks to Nate Robinson, the Knicks are now up by four. Knicks are without Stephon Marbury, David Lee, Jamal Crawford, Quentin Richardson, and know-how. But winning nonetheless. Even the Knick commentators are outraged that New York wasn't called for a foul. Charlotte manages a three nonetheless, and it's a one-point game again with 22 seconds left. Thank you, NBA. To make a long story short, this game ends when Eddy Curry manhandles the high-cheekboned Walter Herrmann and got the game-winning tip-in after it seemed Raymond Felton may have won it for Charlotte. Ballgame.
• Back to New Jersey. This one has tightened up nicely. Nets up four with a little under eight left. I can taste a great ending. Here's a fun little game to play: imagine what will happen at the end of the game before it happens. I fear this one will end with Jason Kidd shooting a jumper, which is always anybody's guess as to whether or not it will go in, but I'd say that exact premonition favors the Bulls.
• This Bulls offense is stuck in goo. What's the play? Everyone watch Kirk Hinrich?
• Detroit vs. Boston is hot. Tied at 89 with three seconds. I'll give you the call ... Detroit Ball. Flip Murray catches, drives, rises, and nails the runner as the clock runs down. It stopped, by the way, at 0.1 left, but the Celtics had no timeout and inbounded without even getting a shot off. UPDATE: The same Flip Murray who just reportedly had a shooting at his house. Weird week for him.
• Back to New Jersey. How many Bostjan Nachbar threes did I miss? The Nets are up 11 and the commentators are complaining that they are sloppy.
  
• There was a conspiracy theory that the referees would favor New Jersey in this game to prevent a Dwyane Wade vs. LeBron James matchup in the first round (as the theory goes, the league would prefer to have them both alive longer). Not happening, that I can see. The Nets have had some tough calls in the parts of this game that I have seen. Plus, one early round guaranteed matchup between those two is better than having one or both of them simply lose in the first round.
• Wow, the Bulls are likely going to lose. Assuming this holds, Chicago will play Miami in the first round.
  
• The game of the hour is now Washington at Indiana. Two-point game with less than three minutes left. This Nets and Magic have won. Washington will be seventh, and have a re-match with Cleveland, if they can win this game. If Washington can't win, they face Detroit, if my math is right. Still a two-point game with less than two to play. Nothing exciting has happened since I switched to this channel.
  
• New Jersey has officially won.
• Washington up one with thirty seconds left. All free throws so far. Diogu shooting for Indiana. Miss. Miss. Anybody want to win this game? This must be killing Gilbert Arenas at home. It feels very JV. Washington inbounds to Darius Songaila. Hits the first. 18 seconds left. Hits the second. Game over.
  
• So, you're Eastern Conference first round is Detroit vs. Orlando, Cleveland vs. Washington, Toronto vs. New Jersey, and Miami vs. Chicago. I'll pick Detroit, Cleveland, Toronto, and I'll get back to you.
• The Warriors are looking pretty good against Portland. A dunk, a layup, and an and-one layup since I tuned in. Portland hasn't scored. Golden State by ten. Here comes Sergio Rodriguez.
• Here's a riddle: have you noticed that there are a lot of players who are famous for their quickness on offense? Rodriguez is a little like that.
• Travis Outlaw's beautiful jump shot wedged into the rim and stuck. Then Jamaal Magloire did his patented get-great-position-then-launch-a-missile-at-the-underside-of-the-rim move. I'm a Portland fan. I have pride. Do I have to keep watching this? Where's Luke Schenscher?
• The worst part is, the way this game is going (it's a 13 point game now) the Clipper game is losing a lot of meaning too. Portland airball. Another Golden State three. What's in the fridge?
• Ahh, there is another game with meaning, though. Don't you dare forget that Lakers vs. Kings game. That has playoff implications, right? That's a virtual tie in the second quarter. If the Lakers lose, and the Warriors don't get stuck in their locker room at halftime, then the Lakers will move down to the eighth spot to meet Dallas in the first round, and Golden State will get Phoenix. So I find myself, a Blazer fan, in the uncomfortable situation of rooting for the Lakers. Because we, the nation of basketball fans, need to see Dallas-killers Golden State vs. Dallas in the first round. That would be fun. Everything else I have rooted for in these matchups has happened. Why quit now?
• As you heard if you're watching ESPN, Mike Dunleavy has banned the broadcast of the Golden State score. Is he that worried about his player's motivation? Would they really not play hard for ONE GAME because they saw that Golden State had a lead? [Insert Tim Thomas joke here.]
• Signs of life in Portland. Portland within 11 on a nice Rodriguez assist to Magloire. Portland ball.
• Dallas has nearly doubled Seattle's score. Nice little warm up for the playoffs. DeSagana Diop two blocks on the perimeter on one play.
• Travis Outlaw and Jamaal Magloire: players who can get in great position to score, but appear as if they might never develop "touch."
• Wow. The Mavericks broadcast just pretty blatantly showed a series of allegedly attractive women in the audience.
• There have been some rumors about Rashard Lewis coming to Portland, so I'm watching him a little against Dallas. He's pretty big and his shot sure is purty, even if it's not falling at the moment.
• I'm willing to conside
  r this one variant to Thabo Sefolosha's "Swiss Mister" nickname: Swiss Twister. In fact, maybe that ought to be the name of his signature move, when he develops one.
• The signs of life I was talking about in Portland? Dan Dickau just pulled Mickael Pietrus's shorts down. That's something, I guess. That's about as electric as is this gets.
• Schenscher! Gets a great pass, drops it. Has a rebound come to him, loses it.
• If Portland can put something together, which they won't, but if they can, it would make for some fun because the Clippers vs. Hornets game is close. Be really fun if this came down to the wire.
• Mike Bibby is 7/10 from the floor in the first half. When he's hot, the Kings are so much better.
• Rockets vs. Jazz is almost over. The Rockets sat Tracy McGrady, Yao Ming, Dikembe Mutombo, and most of Shane Battier (he played a few minutes to get in his 82 games) and are now about to lose to the Utah bench.
• Luke Walton is better at passing the ball than Kwame Brown is at catching it. Lakers and Kings still extremely close.
• Can't shake the feeling Baron Davis would be a tad faster after a beard trim.
• The Lakers are starting to put things together and have a double-digit lead. Sacramento is living -- and, at the moment, dying -- by the jumper.
• Did you know that when Vladimir Radmanovic was on his infamous snowboarding trip, he was staying at Vlade Divac's house in Park City? You can learn a lot from Kings' broadcasters. Also, one of them just said "Holy Moly Jim Bob Boly."
• Kara Lawson with the news that Elton Brand defied Coach Dunleavy and sneakily checked out the Portland score at halftime.
• Things are not getting better for Portland, a team that is showing tonight how they should have played on Saturday, when they foolishly beat Seattle, which will likely cost them a slot or three in June's draft. Eddy Curry's tip-in however, helps, because now at least the Blazers are now ahead of the Knicks, and tied with Minnesota just behind Seattle.
• Golden State's Michael Pietrus is complaining about a hurt hand -- or something -- and wants out of the game. Be bad to get an injured player tonight.
• Blazers within 15. Pietrus not badly hurt. Travis Outlaw having a career game.
  
• The passion thing is happening right now in Toronto, with the news the Raptors have drawn the Nets and Vince Carter. TrueHoop reader Daniel emails: "I must attempt to describe the insanity about to descend on Toronto in the next few days. Female friends of mine who can name all of three NBA players started instant-messaging me five minutes after the Nets clinched the six-spot. ("The Raptors are playing VINCE?!?!?!?!") Some of the worst seats in the house are already going for four times face value on Ebay - and there are still three or four days until the game. Toronto has an MLB team and, of course, an NHL team to which people here are rabidly devoted, but this series is already the biggest sporting spectacle of the decade -- and top-five, I'd argue, of the last 20 years. How often, in any sport, can you say that about a first-round series? I don't even hate Vince -- he's a goofy athlete, not an anti-Semitic-racist-homophobe-criminal, and I think the venom is silly -- but I don't think I'm emotionally prepared for this. If the Raptors lost in the first or second round to, say, a healthy Wizards team or the Bulls, fans would be disappointed, but only briefly -- we all know the team is not yet championship-calibre, and we know it'll be even better in the next few years. But a loss to Vince would be absolutely devastating. It would render all of next year's regular season meaningless; only a trip to the Finals, I think, could avenge it. No exaggeration, it would be the most devastating thing in franchise history."
• Blazers within 12. They have been down 28.
• The Lakers are looking pretty good again. Eight up with three and a half to play. That means the playoff matchups will be, barring a Portland miracle, Dallas vs. Golden State, Phoenix vs. Lakers, San Antonio vs. Denver, and Houston vs. Utah.
• For the record, the Clipper game is still very close. A Portland miracle would make for great TV!
• Warriors have hosed off Portland's discount crowd. (The whole upper deck was $10 tonight.) We can call this one. Also, the Blazers are offering full, real season tickets for next year for about $250. I'm not math whiz, but I think that means your seat would cost about the same as a bottle of water in the stadium. Blazer basketball = a bottle of water. That's the new tagline!
• The Lakers won. The playoff seeds above are real. The Clippers struggle on in vain.
• Hey look, a Rasheed Wallace classic.
• Clippers vs. Hornets comes down to the final seconds. Tied at 83 with a half-minute left, the balls goes out of bounds. It's first called Clipper ball, but then that's over-ruled. No slow-motion replay?
• Rasual Butler putback and foul with less than two seconds left. Makes the free throw. 1.5 left. Commentators point out no one on the court wants overtime.
• Clippers don't get a shot off before the buzzer. Everyone gets to have a nice dinner somewhere. Enjoy the off-season Clippers and Hornets.
  
• Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to rest up for the playoffs.