Oden, as quoted in Patrick Cassidy's cover story in the new issue of DIME:
Everyone's been telling me that as a big man, no matter how much I prepare myself, you learn your toughest lesson when you go down to San Antonio. The other day [former NBA player and Blazers assistant coach] Monty Williams pulled me aside and told me: "That guy down there" -- meaning Tim Duncan -- "has had surgery on his left knee. He can only jump about this high [holds his fingers about an inch apart]. He won't say a word to you, and he will Bust. Your. A--."
In the same story, Oden says that he doesn't watch college or NBA basketball on TV. And he loooooooooves Wal-Mart, where he loads up on Gushers candy, Zebra Cakes, and DVDs like American Pie II. Anyone really still think he's secretly 42?