KD's DVDs, V

September, 7, 2007
Sep 7
7:43
PM ET
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Posted by Kelly Dwyer

When I mentioned yesterday that a breakdown of last spring's Suns/Spurs Game 3 wasn't "TrueHoop-worthy," you have to believe that I wasn't talking about the game itself. My breakdown, mind you, was lacking. And that's the reason there haven't been four or five more DVD-viewings this week - I watched games, cobbled the notes, and didn't think it fit for publication. Running out of time on a Friday, and about to lose you to the weekend, I'm giving this one last stab.

I'm going to work on Game 1 of the 1997 Eastern Conference semifinals, between the Chicago Bulls, and Atlanta Hawks. Yes, it's another Bulls breakdown, mainly because I taped nearly every game of theirs from the second championship three-peat; and though I've tried to stray toward other teams for the sake of variety, and the results haven't been much to behold.

Another problem is the host of tapes I lost from 2000-01, when I had the time and resources to tape a bunch of games from different teams on the league pass. Away from a writing gig, I didn't tape much in 2002-03, and I'm guessing it's a little early to wax nostalgic on games from 2004 to recently (now that I've started recording again). Otherwise I would have gone through all of last year's Clippers/Suns series by now.

TNT's Dick Stockton and Hubie Brown are on the call ... and, oh man, are those some haircuts. Craig Sager is wearing a suit with a sportcoat, pants, tie and a shirt. Kelly Dwyer is trying what other people call "tact."

The Hawks are fielding Dikembe Mutombo at center, Christian Laettner at power forward, Tyrone Corbin on the wing, with Steve Smith and Mookie Blaylock at guards. You're well aware of Chicago's lineup.

Sager tells the Turner audience about a local Chicago radio station's series of prank calls to the hotel rooms of certain Hawks in the wee hours of the morning of Game 1. To thwart the machinations of these ne'er-do-wells, the Hawks took to employing pseudonyms.

According to Sager, Mookie Blaylock is going by the name of his favorite rock group (which, I'm guessing, were not at one point named "Mookie Blaylock"), Steve Smith his favorite TV show ("Fawlty Towers?" "Hardcastle and McCormick?"), Dikembe Mutombo is his favorite coach (we're guessing it isn't Lenny Wilkens, Dan Issel, or Bernie Bickerstaff. That leaves one), and Jon Berry is his favorite golfer (Craig Stadler, I'm kind of hoping).

Laettner didn't take an assumed name, because he "doesn't answer his phone anyway." I'm not one to hop over Dukies for no reason, but the other day I watched a Bulls/Timberwolves game from February of 1996 (only half of it, sadly, still looking for the first half), and Laettner's presence was as miserable a bench presence as I've seen on an NBA sideline ... ever. Just an outright mope. And he was doing the moping with his no-good Timberwolves nearly knocking off the 72-win Bulls, mainly because a 19-year old kid was giving Minnesota a double-double and nailing jumpers from all over the floor.

1Q, 11:48: A potential defensive rebound (hit glass, nothing else, bounced to the weak side) for Chicago knocks off Scottie Pippen's hands about two feet below the basket, and three feet to the side. Bounces off his hands, off glass, and into the basket. Hubie Brown: "I have never seen that."

1Q, 10:57: Mutombo posts up Scottie Pippen.

1Q, 10:54: Mutombo cannot score on Scottie Pippen.

1Q, 10:02: Laettner has already scored on Dennis Rodman, so Rodman fouls L8 in the post the second time the Hawks go to their All-Star power forward. Rodman responds with a technical foul, and he's not having much fun. This was the season Rodman tore his MCL with 13 games left in the season, and he came back way too early because the playoffs were around the corner. Wearing a bulky knee brace, Rodman wasn't himself.

1Q, 9:20: Rodman draws an offensive foul on Laettner. Rodman's himself.

1Q, 8:04: Pippen and Ron Harper both create turnovers on consecutive possessions as the Hawks try to bring the ball up the court. This was a few weeks before Pippen tore tissue in the foot against the Miami Heat, and the man is just all over the court.

1Q, 7:21: We return from a timeout to the strains of Hanson's "Mmm-Bop." Those crazy 1990s; was there ever a worse decade for music? Oh, yeah - this one. Meanwhile, Hawks assistant Bill Hanzlik is sporting Gareth Keenan's hair and Chris Finch's mustache. An enviable combo.

1Q, 4:22: The Hawks are plus six so far in the game mainly because the team's aggression is surprising everyone. Wilkens' team is taking, and making, bad shots - which is odd for Lenny's usual slow-down cagers. Everyone on the team is looking for his own shot, eschewing ball movement, and it's working. Mookie Blaylock has six rebounds already.

1Q, 2:25: Rodman picks up another offensive foul on Laettner. Laettner begs to differ.

Hawks plus seven after one quarter, 26 to 19. Blaylock has six points, six boards, and three assists. He can be reached at Chicago's Drake Hotel under the name, "Atlanta Rhythm Section."

2Q, 11:02: Hawks point guard "John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band" forces Randy Brown into a backcourt turnover, and nails a 3-pointer in Brown's face on the next possession.

2Q, 10:47: Bison Dele, the former Brian Williams, has checked into the game. Bison Dele was one of my favorite people, anywhere, any time, any function.

2Q, 6:41: Hawks point man "Stealer's Wheel" tries a heat-check, and wildly misses a trey.

2Q, 4:35: Posting up the smaller "Nitty Gritty Dirt Band," Jordan has hit two fadeaways in a row. If you're tired of this joke, then kindly get in a time machine, go to 1997, exit, and ask Lenny Wilkens to take him out of the game.

2Q, 4:02: Blaylock is still in there, so I guess the TrueHoop Friday night readership is still working out the vicissitudes of that incorrigible time-space continuum.

2Q, 2:57: Rodman and Laettner at their petulant best. Rodman expertly defends Laettner in the post, forces a miss, and L8 wants the call. With Laettner slow to get down court as he argues, Rodman hoists up a 3-pointer. When that misses, the ball outlets to Laettner, who promptly fires up a trey just to show D-Rod what he can do. What he does this time is miss, and I'm pretty sure Hubie Brown just left press row.

Halftime, Atlanta up 50-39. The Hawks enjoy a 30-19 rebounding advantage, with an obviously gimpy Dennis Rodman hauling in just three in 16 minutes of action. Rodman tries to take the court without his knee-brace before the second half, and the Chicago coaching staff informs him that he won't play if he isn't wearing the brace.

3Q, 9:26: Pippen and Jordan are keeping Chicago in the game, but not by much. Pippen's 3-pointer gives him 16 points, but on 14 shots, and the Bulls are still down 11. Dick Stockton has dropped his first "Mookie Wilson" of the evening.

3Q, 8:53: Pippen's on fire, hitting a 26-footer in Laettner's face from the top of the floor.

3Q, 8:23: The Bulls are starting to match Atlanta's intensity, working the Hawks into turnovers. Jordan's dunk brings Chicago with six, and the team is on an 11-1 run.

3Q, 7:32: Rodman runs under Laettner (who is being guarded, and fouled, by Luc Longley) near the basket as Laettner comes down off a shot attempt. Laettner spends the next minute complaining to Joey Crawford, who keeps trying to chase him
off by telling L8, "I called the foul." Yeah, but not THE foul.

3Q, 6:37: Tyrone Corbin with a 3-pointer, he has 12 points. Your typical pro's pro, great guy, team leader, and he might replace Jerry Sloan as Utah coach some day.

3Q, 5:57: Rodman and Mutombo get into a little slap fight, and Mutombo hilariously reacts like he just watched a quiche tumble off the buffet table at a lovely Sunday brunch. And, with that last line, I've realized that I could have written for Tim Allen, some 15 years ago. Anyway, Hubie tells us that "it doesn't look like a technical foul," for either player, but both pick up Ts, and Rodman is automatically ejected.

3Q, 5:08: Laettner gets the ball with is back to the basket, Pippen guarding him, and he's about five feet from the rim. Possibly four. Just stands there and watches cutters, then throws it out to point man "Ian Dury and the Blockheads" for a missed 3-pointer. To me, few things are fun over the course of a game than picking off a cutter with a pass from the low (especially) or high post, and I don't mean to keep picking on Laettner, but ... geesh. He could have jumped up, reached over, and laid the ball in from where he was at - especially with a guy (even Scottie Pippen) four inches shorter trying to check him.

3Q, 4:33: Jordan hits one of the more impressive 3-pointers I've ever seen him nail. Shot flat-footed because - with the shot clock winding down - he couldn't wait until he was at the top of his jumping arc to let loose, and over Dikembe Mutombo's outstretched arms.

3Q, 2:45: Longley hits his second straight 17-footer. Hubie: "You've got to guard him." Hell yeah, you've got to guard Luc Longley!

3Q, 1:42: The beauty of some of John Hollinger's stats is that he takes count of how many assists/turnovers/rebounds a certain player picks up "per possessions used up." In this game, Laettner's CttR-r (Complain to the Refs Ratio) is something like 98.9. Nearly every possession he uses up results in a whine. I know I'm sounding like a stereotype-based hyperbole machine, but it's true.

3Q, 1:37: Atlanta misses, Chicago dashes to the other end and scores.

3Q, 1:02: Atlanta misses, Chicago dashes to the other end and scores.

3Q, .25.2: Atlanta misses, Ron Harper dashes to the other end and scores. Thought I'd be a bit more specific.

3Q, 0.00: Jordan hits a fadeaway to end the quarter. Bulls up, 77 to 70. Jordan had 20 points in the quarter, as many as the Hawks. Chicago scores 38 in the quarter after scoring 39 in the first half.

In between quarters, Ernie Johnson goes to a split screen showing the United Center on top, and a lone Laker shooting jumpers before the Lakers/Jazz playoff matchup coming on next. It is, in EJ's words, "the teenager, Kobe Bryant."

4Q, 11:48: A phone rings on press row, and that's not just Dick Stockton's tinnitus.

4Q, 10:20: Blaylock and Steve Kerr hit back-to-back 3-pointers, and with that old 22-foot line, they truly do look like mid-range jumpers these guys could hit in their sleep.

4Q, 9:00: Hawk Darren Hancock dives into the front row after a loose ball really smacks Gene Siskel on the cheekbone with one of his sneakers. We see about 20-30 of these a year, but this is one of the worst ones I can remember - and it involved Gene Siskel. Odd.

4Q, 5:47: Not much new to report, the Hawks are sticking with screen/roll isolation work and scoring every so often, while Chicago has hit a rough spot because the lineup of Dele, Jason Caffey, Pippen, Ron Harper and Randy Brown is struggling to score.

4Q, 4:15: Blaylock is dominating Steve Kerr, he has 31 points, and the Hawks are up two.

4Q, 3:56: Driving with the ball on a 2-on-1 fast break, Blaylock pulls up for a 3-pointer that misses. Hubie reminds us that this is the year that Mookie shot over eight 3-pointers a game in the regular season.

4Q, 2:34: Jordan splits two free throws, his first points of the quarter (he's sat for probably all but two of the ten minutes thus far), and the contest is tied. Both teams trade misses for the next minute, well executed offense on both ends - though the Hawks could use more movement, the team is still getting solid looks.

4Q, .58.6: The Hawks can't even get the ball inside the 3-point line, and turn the ball over on a 24-second violation. "Unbelievable," says Hubie, "give Chicago credit."

4Q, .40.6: Pippen hits his sixth 3-pointer of the game, Bulls up three. As Atlanta dashes up court, Hubie warns, "you don't need a three, here."

4Q, 38.2: Mookie Blaylock shoots a 3-pointer. It misses, terribly, and he's 5-of-14 on the night. Longley is fouled after pulling in the rebound. The Hawks panicked.

4Q, 0.00: Blaylock misses his last trey of the night, a desperate heave to tie it, and the Bulls win by three. Jordan finishes with 34 points, 11 boards, six dimes, and tells Craig Sager, "it just wasn't our night." No, it wasn't Dennis Rodman's night. 34, 11, and 6? That was your night.

So that's it, hope you enjoyed it. All those thanks and bon mots I offered last night were, heartfelt - I had fun this week, and hope I did a little to alleviate the pain of the dregs of the offseason.

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