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Wise Words for Curtis Borchardt

Charley Rosen at FOXSports.com, has been giving his take on the biggest trade in NBA history. It includes some advice for the Boston Celtics' new backup center, Curtis Borchardt:

Must do: Make sure his sneaker laces are properly tied. Comb his hair. Applaud his teammates' good plays. Shower before the game so as to avoid the post-game rush.

Prognosis: He's too soft and too dorky to do anything but play in emergencies.

Other players got advice like "play solid defense" and "submit to Shaq's leadership." Borchardt, I guess, should be aiming a little lower.