Grandma basketball

October, 15, 2012
10/15/12
1:11
PM ET
Abbott By Henry Abbott
ESPN.com
Archive
The blog Drawllin has all kinds of crazy stuff, a lot of which kind of has something or other to do with basketball. You can lose a lot of time trolling around Drawllin.

On Sunday, writer Tyler Parker posted something about his deceased grandmother that will make you laugh and make you cry. Some moments:
  • "She played HORSE with me. When she’d visit she’d go out into my driveway and play me. She talked all kinds of mess. It was psychological warfare. She was what you would get if you merged the trash talking of Sam Cassell, Larry Bird, and GrandMamma Johnson from Family Matters."
  • "She put a pool and a hot tub in her backyard. The hot tub was for her back. The pool was for the grand kids. In the summers we’d go out there and play Monster with her. Not the Charlize Theron kind. The kind where she was the Monster and the entire game was her chasing us around the pool. If she touched us, we became Monsters. I know that may not sound like fun to some of you, but that’s because you suck."
  • "Every breakfast she made always included biscuits and gravy. When she was making the biscuits, she always had me and my sisters help her with a 'special' one. That special one was for Pepa. She would split the biscuit the way you split an Oreo if you want the cream on one side. Once it was split she would put the jelly in the middle. When the jelly had been spread, she put a cotton ball in the center of the biscuit and placed the top part on the bottom part, effectively making a cotton ball breakfast sandwich. This happened every time. And every time it was one of the grandkids’ job to deliver the goods to Pepa. Pepa, phenomenal sport he was, would thank us so much and talk about how great it looked and take the plate. The rest of us would gather at the doorway that separated their den and their kitchen and watch him with the smiliest smiles ever smiled. We were the greatest gigglers alive in that doorway. He’d bite into it and make a face like he just had vinegar poured straight into his nostrils and we’d laugh so hard. Big booming belly laughs and we’d say things like 'Did you not like it?' and 'Gotcha.' It never even crossed my mind growing up that he knew exactly what was going on. Pepa’s a good dude."

Henry Abbott | email

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