He had some of the worst gas in history on his flight from Portland to Illinois. But out of respect for his fellow travelers, he held it in. For hours.
If we were outside in the woods or maybe at an all-guys party I would have tore a hole in the universe but I had to hold it. Too many people too soon and I knew it was gonna smell.
As we all do, you just squeeze and hold it except the flight is 3:30 hrs long. I was in for it. I tried drinking more water. At the exact moment I felt my stomach really start to hurt and from me holding it too long, also giving me a headache, it was the last straw. There was no one in the seat next to me so I was gonna let it ride. I asked the stewardess for two blankets to tame the stinky beast that was about to be let loose on the world. I acted like I was falling asleep, positioning, and ... as if God had the best sense of humor ever, a man sits down looking at me straight in my eyes. I have to abort mission. Alpha bravo team cancel that operation.
I knew he knew I was a basketball player just looking at me smiling wanted to talk about something so bad I could see his body language look for any opening. I wouldn't give him any. I put the two blankets over my head and fell asleep hard waking up to move around, adjusting my poor intestine, holding all that stinky air. I was mad.
Here's the happy ending though: Eventually, painfully, Frye did arrive at Andre Iguodala's charity game in Springfield Illinois.
And then he had an unbelievable shooting night and was named MVP.
Whatever works, right? I'm thinking the Blazers should institute a no farting policy on the plane, and then watch Frye have a career year.