The Testimony of Seattle's Basketball Poet Laureate

Author Sherman Alexie -- who was called as a witness during the Sonics' trial -- has written a massive list of 61 things he learned from the emotional marathon of watching the Sonics leave town. It was just published in the local paper the Stranger. (It is totally PG-13 for language, and if you're feeling delicate, it may make you cry.)

Here are some favorite points:

13. When I think of Howard Schultz, I hear Jewel singing, "Who will say-aay-aave your soul?"

14. More than anything else, I hate Howard Schultz for making me think of Jewel.

15. In writing, thinking, and talking about the Sonics' possible relocation to Oklahoma City, I shuffle like an iPod through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and Hall & Oates.

19. Here's an obvious news bulletin: A whole bunch of males are very uncomfortable in the presence of masculine love, whether expressed romantically or platonically. I am often uncomfortable in the presence of my own gushing emotions. Did I really need to opine that the love of NBA basketball is at least partially homoerotic? Yes, I did. Of course, I did. LeBron James is indeed the basketball equivalent of Michelangelo's David.