Because it would really be perfect for this post.
See, a really pressing question facing the NBA is: What music are they going to play to get fans fired up in that Oklahoma City stadium?
Becaue the word "Thunder" (aw, come on, don't we finally really know that's what the ex-Sonics will be called?) is in a lot of songs.
Close your eyes, and picture Russell Westbrook calling a timeout, down one, with 14 seconds left. The team is headed into the huddle, where P.J. Carlesimo will no doubt instruct everyone that Kevin Durant is about to jack a step-back three.
But that's not important right now. What's important right now is ...
What's coming over the loudspeakers?
I just know what it will be.
It will be AC/DC's "Thunderstruck." (You can hear it, right? "Thunder ..." You know the one.)
Guaranteed. This song is already played in that situation in NBA arenas. Now, it will be like law or something.
The people will be up! They will be pumping their fists! They will love that moment.
But man, there are a ton of other "Thunder" songs out there.
Consider that Garth Brooks lives in Oklahoma, and had a super mega ginormo hit called "Thunder Rolls." It's a no-brainer.
Except that song is about two-timing husbands, domestic violence, and -- as told by the music video -- a mother murdering a cheating father in front of their young child, in rhythm with the storm outside.
Maybe Garth Brooks can record a peppier version, with totally different lyrics.
I'm pretty sure NBA arenas are not quite ready for Kiss's "God of Thunder." At least not this live version, with the blood and all. It's also a pretty terrible song.
This Boys Like Girls song "Thunder" would seem to be a fit, except that it takes all the athleticism and grit out of the word Thunder. "You'll always be my thunder," they sing, cutely. Save that for next time this team bolts for the next town.
There's also a White Zombie song allegedly with something about thunder, but I can't understand a word that guy says.
The Boss is always welcome in stadiums. Bruce Springsteen's "Thunder Road" could get some play. "Show a little faith, there's magic in the night," will work, unless the actual Magic are the opponent that night. And that whole "Oh Thunder Road" chorus part is money.
Come to think of it, they should name some bunch of premium seats "Thunder Road" as well as the street outside the stadium. (They have probably already thought of this. Wonder if there would be trademark issues with that. Wonder if that's why the name is so delayed. UPDATE: Or I wonder if it might have something to do with the Warriors needing a new mascot.)
As long as I'm naming things in that stadium, let me name the dance team, too. Thunder Cats, right? What could be better than that cartoon (was it the eighties?) with the theme that went "thunder thunder thunder thunder CATS!"
Actually, scratch that last idea. I just looked up that music. No fooling, the lyrics right before that killer line (and they say it again and again, in a way that just sounds terrible if you're talking about a group of young women hanging around NBA players): "Thunder cats are loose."
Who wrote that? Did they have no idea we might one day want to appropriate the name for a dance team? Couldn't they have said "Thunder cats are out and about?"
Ok, so maybe we'll have to call them ThunderPack or something.
And the mascot will either by lightning, or a Thunder____. Insert any animal name, tiger, lion, croc, or whatever. Probably not a dog, though. That name is kind of taken. And dogs hate thunder, anyway.