ESPN NBA

The comedy paper the Onion continues its fascination with ESPN's Marc Stein with a story that starts like this:

Sportswriter Marc Stein was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder and prescribed a low dose of Risperdal Tuesday after using his weekly ESPN.com power rankings to rate the "filthiness" of each NBA team. "Basketball under their fingernails; I wouldn't go near these guys in a million years, okay?" read Stein's entry for the 11th-ranked Pacers, a typical blurb in a list that described the No. 1 Suns as "pretty clean or less diseased than normal" and the No. 30 Mavericks as "DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY."

The story ends like this:

Stein was prescribed an additional dose of D-cycloserin after explaining his plans to wash the entire Northwest Division. 

Funny. But even funnier is Stein's reaction. He e-mails: "The scary part is that I am a Seinfeldian neat freak ... or at least I was til we had kids and I lost control of the house."