Commentary

Oregon State heads to the YMCA

Originally Published: September 7, 2011
By Mark Schlabach | ESPN.com

WEEK: Preseason | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:


It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said: Young man, what do you want to be?
I said: Young man, you can make real your dreams
But you got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf
And just go there, to the Y-M-C-A
I'm sure they can help you today

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A

-- "YMCA," The Village People

Oregon State coach Mike Riley might be headed to the local YMCA for reinforcements this week.

The Beavers, who were depleted by injuries during preseason camp, were embarrassed by FCS foe Sacramento State 29-28 in overtime at home in last week's opener. (If you're new to the Bottom 10 party, No. 5 is reserved for the top BCS blunder of the week.) But give the Hornets a lot of credit for winning. Quarterback Jeff Fleming connected with Brandyn Reed on a touchdown pass and two-point conversion in overtime as Sacramento State beat an FBS foe for the first time in 11 tries.

The victory had to make Sacramento State alumnus David Hodo feel good. Hodo was an original member of the Village People as the construction worker. Before putting on his sunglasses and a hard hat, Hodo was a roller-skating fire-eater. In fact, he retired from that job after nearly burning his face off, which earned him the moniker "Scar."

Riley can only hope his team's season doesn't go up in flames after such a dreadful loss. But the Beavers weren't alone in their humiliation against an FCS foe. Duke lost to Richmond 23-21, its third straight loss to the Spiders. UTEP needed overtime to defeat Stony Brook 31-24, and Wyoming needed a touchdown pass with 22 seconds left to beat Weber State 35-32. Elsewhere, Iowa State narrowly defeated Northern Iowa 20-19; Washington escaped with a 30-27 win over Eastern Washington; and Kansas State barely beat Eastern Kentucky, 10-7.

With apologies to Steve Harvey and the Village People, here's this week's Bottom 10:

ESPN.com's Bottom 10
  RANK TEAM '11 RECORD COMMENT
1. Memphis 0-1 "I Am What I Am": The Tigers are what they are -- really bad. They can only hope they're better than Arkansas State on Saturday, this week's Pillow Fight of the Week.
2. San Jose State 0-1 "In Hollywood (Everybody Is A Star)": The Spartans were torched 57-3 at Stanford in their opener, but it probably won't be as bad this week at UCLA, where Bruins coach Rick Neuheisel is hardly a star.
3. New Mexico State 0-1 "Livin' In the Wildlife": The Aggies surrendered 452 yards in a 44-24 loss to the Ohio Bobcats. It might be worse in Saturday's road game against the Minnesota Gophers.
4. New Mexico 0-1 "Liberation": With a few more losses, the Lobos will be liberated from coach Mike Locksley. Locksley's record fell to 2-23 with last week's 14-10 loss to Colorado State.
5. Oregon State 0-1 "YMCA": If the Beavers don't get some injured players back, they might look like a YMCA team when they play at Wisconsin on Saturday.
6. Akron 0-1 "Ready for the 80s": The Zips' 4-21 stretch over the past two-plus seasons even has them yearning for the 1980s, when Gerry Faust coached there.
7. UNLV 0-1 "Go West": The Rebels' trip to Washington State on Saturday once seemed inviting. Not after UNLV lost to Wisconsin 51-17 and the Cougars blasted Idaho State 64-21.
8. Louisiana-Lafayette 0-1 "Can't Stop the Music": The not-so-Ragin' Cajuns couldn't stop anything in last week's 61-34 loss at Oklahoma State, allowing 666 yards of offense.
9. Buffalo 0-1 "Magic Night": After losing 11 of their past 12 games, the Bulls might be in store for a magical night after hosting FCS foe Stony Brook on Saturday.
10. Duke 0-1 "Macho Man": The Blue Devils wore all-black uniforms for last week's opener against FCS foe Richmond. They were left black and blue after a 23-21 loss.

Waiting list: North Texas (0-1), Georgia's uniforms, Maryland's uniforms, SMU's onside kick, TCU's defense, bad weather, Kent State (0-1), Oregon's punt returns, Louisiana-Monroe (0-1), Florida Atlantic (0-1), Auburn's defense, Kentucky's offense, Idaho (0-1), Akron's complaining, Derek Dooley's pants, Boise State's shoes, Purdue's home crowd, Arkansas State (0-1), Ole Miss' play calling, Indiana (0-1), Notre Dame's turnovers, Rice (0-1).

Mark Schlabach covers college football for ESPN.com.

Mark Schlabach | email

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