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All aboard the Love Boat

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:


Love, exciting and new

Come aboard, we're expecting you

Love, life's sweetest reward

Let it flow, it floats back to you

Love Boat soon will be making another run

The Love Boat promises something for everyone

Set a course for adventure

Your mind on a new romance

And love won't hurt anymore

It's an open smile on a friendly shore

It's love

Welcome aboard

It's love!"


-- "The Love Boat" theme, Jack Jones

"The Love Boat" was one of The Bottom 10's favorite shows. You never knew what kind of romance, drama or mischief you might find, let alone which guest stars might appear, ranging from the uniquely talented (Charo!) to iconic (Milton Berle?).

Kirk Ferentz certainly isn't feeling the love in Iowa after the Hawkeyes lost 22-21 at Minnesota last week. Instead of sharing a first-place lead in the Big Ten Legends Division, he's coming off another humiliating loss entering his team's toughest stretch of the 2011 season.

In 13 seasons at Iowa, Ferentz has guided the Hawkeyes through some stormy waters and there's been no shortage of mischief and mayhem aboard his ship.

With Ferentz earning $3.86 million annually, making him Iowa's highest-paid state employee, Hawkeyes fans expect him to steer a winning team -- not a sinking ship.

If Ferentz decides football is no longer for him he can always follow in the footsteps of Iowa native Fred Grandy, who played Love Boat purser Gopher Smith before trading in TV sitcom fame for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.

The Bottom 10 has always been like a marina to a boatload of sinking ships. But rarely have so many FBS programs anchored in The Bottom 10. Mediocrity and overall ineptitude have knocked the wind out of sails at Colorado, Kansas, Indiana and Maryland.

With apologies to Steve Harvey, Jack Jones and Fred Grandy, here's this week's Bottom 10, along with some memorable Love Boat episodes:

Waiting list: Arizona (2-6), Buffalo (2-7), Clemson pulling, well, a Clemson, Florida's offense, Georgia's running backs, Louisiana-Monroe (2-6), Memphis (2-7), Navy (2-6), Notre Dame's team building exercises, Ole Miss (2-6), Rice (2-6), Texas A&M's halftime adjustments, Texas Tech's focus, Tulane (2-7), USC's clock management, Utah State (2-5), Vanderbilt being, well, Vanderbilt, Wisconsin's prevent defense.

Mark Schlabach covers college football for ESPN.com.