- Mark Schlabach, ESPN Senior Writer
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The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:
I took off for a weekend last month
Just to try and recall the whole year.
All of the faces and all of the places
Wonderin' where they all disappeared.
I didn't ponder the question too long;
I was hungry and went out for a bite.
Ran into a chum with a bottle of rum,
And we wound up drinkin' all night.
It's those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes,
Nothing remains quite the same.
With all of our running and all of our cunning,
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
-- Jimmy Buffett, "Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes"
The Bottom 10 could use some changes in attitudes.
For the first 12 weeks of the 2011 college football season, Bottom 10 teams have accepted losing and overall ineptitude.
And believe us, if they couldn't laugh, they would have all gone insane.
Jimmy Buffett must be shaking his head this week. Buffett, who received a bachelor's degree in history from Southern Mississippi in 1969, watched his alma mater lose at UAB 34-31 last week. With a chance to win Conference USA's East Division, the not-so-Golden Eagles lost to the Blazers for the third straight time.
Fortunately for Southern Miss, they'll play Memphis, another Bottom 10 stalwart, at home this week with another chance to punch its ticket to the Dec. 3 Conference USA championship game. But last week's hiccup earned the Golden Eagles the not-so-coveted No. 5 spot in this week's Bottom 10.
Heading into Thanksgiving, the Bottom 10 will undoubtedly offer its opponents a buffet of victories.
With apologies to Steve Harvey and Jimmy Buffett, here's this week's Bottom 10, along with some of the Bottom 10's favorite tunes from Margaritaville:
Waiting list: Army (3-8), Boston College (3-8), Clemson's focus, Columbia's band ban, Duke (3-8), Idaho (2-9), Instant replay at Tennessee, Maryland (2-9), Middle Tennessee (2-8), Minnesota (2-9), Oklahoma's defense, Texas' offense, UNLV (2-8)
Mark Schlabach covers college football for ESPN.com.
Southern Miss can only laugh after blowing a chance to clinch a place in the Conference USA title game to UAB of all teams. The Golden Eagles were caught posing as Parrotheads.