It's no secret: Maryland got rolled

Originally Published: October 8, 2013
By Mark Schlabach |

WEEK: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | BYE | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

Navigator C-2A: "What's the matter, Commander? You don't like flying, huh? Aw, this is nothing! You should've been with us five, six months ago! Whoa! You talk about puke! We ran into a hailstorm over the Sea of Japan. Everybody's retching their guts out! The pilot shot his lunch all over the windshield, and I barfed on the radio! Shorted it out completely! And it wasn't that lightweight stuff, either. It was that chunky industrial weight puke!"

[The navigator offers Jack Ryan the candy bar he's been eating]

Navigator C-2A: "Hey, you want a bite?"

Jack Ryan: "Jack, next time you get a bright idea, just put it in a memo!"

-- Rick Ducommun and Alec Baldwin, "The Hunt for Red October"

The Maryland Terrapins know a little something about retching their guts out in October.

After climbing back into the national rankings with a 4-0 start, the Terrapins opened October with an ugly 63-0 loss at No. 6 Florida State on Saturday. It tied for the most lopsided loss ever for a nationally ranked team; UCLA beat No. 11 Texas 66-3 in 1997.

The Seminoles didn't embarrass the Terrapins with espionage and intelligence. They plowed over them with strength and brute force, piling up 614 yards of offense in the blowout.

As the Bottom 10 mourns the death of Tom Clancy, the Maryland native who wrote 17 No. 1 best-sellers about international intrigue and espionage, the Terrapins claim the not-so-coveted No. 5 spot this week.

With apologies to Steve Harvey and Tom Clancy, here's this week's Bottom 10:'s Bottom 10
1. Southern Miss 0-5 "Without Remorse": In Clancy's 1993 novel, John Kelly, aka "Mr. Clark," is confronted by enemies abroad and at home after he's found in a POW camp in North Vietnam. The not-so-Golden Eagles have been their own worst enemy, too. They had four more turnovers in a 24-23 loss to Florida International, their 17th loss in a row.
2. Georgia State 0-5 "Red Storm Rising": In Clancy's 1986 book, the Soviets plotted to seize oil in the Persian Gulf after terrorists blew up a key Russian oil complex. The Panthers were swallowed by a rising Tide last week in Tuscaloosa, Ala., as No. 1 Alabama had a 38-0 lead at halftime in a 45-3 victory.
3. Miami (Ohio) 0-5 "Executive Orders": The weight of the world falls on Jack Ryan in Clancy's 1996 novel after he's elevated to the presidency following the deaths of the former president, most of Congress and the Supreme Court. Miami (Ohio) quarterbacks coach Mike Bath was named interim coach following Sunday's firing of former coach Don Treadwell.
4. UMass 0-5 "The Cardinal of the Kremlin": In Clancy's 1988 bestseller, Ryan tries to rescue an American agent working in Russia, whose code name is "Cardinal." The KGB has turned on him, and Ryan tries to save his life and the future of the world. There will be much less at stake when the Minutemen host Miami (Ohio) in Saturday's Pillow Fight of the Week.
5. Maryland 4-1 "The Sum of All Fears": Ryan tried to save an incompetent U.S. president from himself as he brokers a Middle East peace plan in the aftermath of communism's collapse and the Gulf War. With the world on the brink of nuclear war, Ryan tries to find a solution. Fortunately, the Terrapins have Randy Edsall to save them after last week's debacle at FSU.
6. New Mexico State 0-6 "The Bear and the Dragon": In Clancy's 2000 novel, Ryan faces a crisis unlike any other: unseemly forces in China and Russia are plotting against the West. Two far lesser superpowers battled in last week's Rio Grande Rivalry, with New Mexico blowing out New Mexico State 66-17.
7. Western Michigan 0-6 "Clear and Present Danger": Ryan battled Colombian drug lords, who assassinated three high-ranking American officials, in Clancy's 1989 book. It didn't take the Broncos long to realize their danger was clear and present on Saturday; Toledo scored on a 40-yard touchdown pass on its first offensive play in a 47-20 victory.
8. Hawaii 0-5 "Threat Vector": In Clancy's next-to-last novel published last year, Ryan plotted to thwart a rogue Chinese general's plans to invade Taiwan. The Warriors were less adept at protecting their island in Sunday's 37-27 loss to San Jose State.
9. Temple 0-5 "The Hunt for Red October": Clancy's 1984 debut novel was his most famous work and introduced us to Ryan, who matched wits with the Russians while trying to safely rescue a Soviet sub commander who wants to defect. Louisville's offensive game plan also went undetected in its 30-7 rout of the Owls in Philadelphia on Saturday.
10. UConn't 0-4 "Command Authority": Clancy's last novel, which will be published posthumously on Dec. 3, focuses on Ryan's battle with a new strongman in Russia, whose rise to power "is based on a dark secret hidden decades in the past." There's no secret why T.J. Weist is the Huskies' new interim coach; Paul Pasqualoni was fired after a 10-18 record in two-plus seasons.

Waiting list: Memphis (1-3), SMU (1-4), North Carolina (1-4), Kansas' fake punt, Iowa State (1-3), Penn State's defense, Purdue (1-4), Florida International (1-4), Northwestern's "rough," Florida Atlantic (2-4), Syracuse's sideline behavior, UAB (1-4), Idaho (1-5), Stanford's acting, Tulsa (1-4), UTEP (1-4), Cincinnati's bowl hopes, Akron (1-5), Eastern Michigan (1-4), Big 12 officials saving Texas, Central Michigan (2-4), Texas A&M's presidential tweets, Air Force (1-5), California (1-4), Kentucky (1-4)

Mark Schlabach | email

College Football and Basketball


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