- Mark Schlabach, ESPN Senior Writer
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The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:
Brian Griffin: "Oh, my God! What are you doing?"
Stewie Griffin: "This time machine has almost killed us a hundred times, Brian. And yesterday was just too close a call. So I've decided to get rid of it before something irreparable happens."
Brian: "Stewie, your time machine. It was like your crowning achievement. I can't believe you'd just destroy it."
Stewie: "Trust me, Brian. It's for the best. And, hey, at least I've had some fun with it. You know what I did last week? I time-traveled ahead to Christmas so I wouldn't have to wait all year for the new toys to come out."
--"Family Guy," Season 12, Episode 6, "Life of Brian"
If only the Alabama Crimson Tide could go back in time.
Oh, wait, they actually did.
In last week's Iron Bowl, time travel did irreparable damage to the Crimson Tide's hopes of winning an unprecedented third consecutive BCS National Championship. After officials put 1 second back on the clock at Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium, No. 1 Alabama lined up for a 57-yard field goal that would have broken a 28-28 tie against the No. 4 Tigers, instead of taking a knee and testing its chances in overtime.
Alabama freshman place-kicker Adam Griffith's attempt fell short of the goalposts, and Auburn's Chris Davis returned the kick more than 100 yards for a touchdown, giving the Tigers a 34-28 victory in one of the most unbelievable endings in college football history. Auburn won the SEC West and will play No. 5 Missouri in Saturday's SEC championship game in Atlanta.
"Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, one of only a few Americans paid more than Alabama coach Nick Saban to make difficult decisions, knows all about being second-guessed. MacFarlane hasn't been popular with "Family Guy" fans after the show killed off Brian, the Griffin family's liberal and lovable talking dog, on Sunday. In fact, more than 125,000 people have signed an online petition to bring Brian back to the show.
"I'm not, only because, our fans are smart enough and have been loyal to our show for long enough, to know that they can trust us," executive producer Steve Callaghan told E! Online when asked if he expected backlash from fans. "We always make choices that always work to the greatest benefit of the series."
Sounds a lot like Alabama fans, who are smart enough and loyal enough to not dwell on the shocking loss to their bitter in-state rivals for too long. Hey, it was only a game, right? Saban's surprising decision -- and the game's stunning outcome -- earned the Crimson Tide the not-so-coveted No. 5 spot in this week's Bottom 10.
At least Southern Miss and Hawaii fans will head into the holidays in good spirits. Both teams earned their first victories of the season in last week's finales. After spending every week at No. 1 in the Bottom 10 this season, the not-so-Golden Eagles blasted UAB 62-27 on Saturday, outscoring the Blazers 49-6 in the second half to end a 23-game losing streak. The Warriors beat Army 49-42 early Sunday morning, gaining 608 yards of offense to end an 11-game drought. The victories keep both teams out of this week's Bottom 10.
With apologies to Steve Harvey and Seth MacFarlane, here's the final Bottom 10 of the 2013 season:
Waiting list: South Florida (2-9), Virginia (2-10), UTEP (2-10), double-fisted at Michigan, Eastern Michigan (2-10), Kentucky (2-10), Wisconsin's BCS hopes, Fresno State's BCS hopes, Memphis (3-8), NC State (3-9), Kansas (3-9), Tulsa (3-9), Bo Pelini's tirade, Army (3-8), New Mexico (3-9), Florida's offense, Arkansas (3-9), cracking at the Egg Bowl, Illinois (4-8), Louisiana Tech (4-8).
15hEdward Aschoff and Alex Scarborough
2dDan Murphy and Mitch Sherman