Stand up and jeer

Trash-talking the Ohio State Buckeyes is a fan favorite. Jay Laprete/AP Images

This story appears in the July 25, 2011 issue of ESPN The Magazine.

Every athletic contest contains a clear divide: Us and Them. And not just on the field. To celebrate bleacher banter, The Mag asked college fans what they're saying about their team's foes -- and then we asked them to vote for their favorite put-downs. Nearly 3,000 of you took part in the online name-calling fun. And while the divide between Us and Them runs as deep as ever, at least We can laugh about it.

"Liar, liar, vest on fire"
Ohio State Buckeyes, 16.2%

"Trojans don't protect against the NCAA"
USC Trojans, 11.6%

"Around the bowl, down the hole, roll, Tide, roll"
Alabama Crimson Tide, 8.6%

"Hoosier daddy?"
Indiana Hoosiers, 6.4%

"Tigers bleaux"
LSU Tigers, 5.8%

"Not smart enough for Cal, not pretty enough for USC"
UCLA Bruins, 5.7%

"You flop like it's your job"
Duke Blue Devils, 5.2%

"Rock chalk, chicken hawk"
Kansas Jayhawks, 4.8%

"Big House of Disappointment"
Michigan Wolverines, 4.8%

"You're responsible for Ryan Leaf"
Washington State Cougars, 3.7%

"Eat more Bevo"
Texas Longhorns, 3.1%

"All you ever win is frequent-flyer points"
Hawaii Warriors, 3%

Missouri Tigers, 2.5%

"You're not Harvard"
Stanford Cardinal, 2.5%

"San Diego is not a state"
San Diego State Aztecs, 2.4%

"All dirt roads lead to Tech"
Virginia Tech Hokies, 2.4%

"One and Done University"
Kentucky Wildcats, 1.9%

"Ted Bundy was a Husky"
Washington Huskies, 1.7%

Oregon Ducks, 1.5%

"Save a tree, kill a beaver"
Oregon State Beavers, 1.3%