The week's chat covered such broad topics as pro bowling, classic foosball movies, and who has the worst hairdo in the NCAA tourney.

"If you're looking for truly bad basketball hair look no further then Gene comb-over Keady," says Bakay.

In case you missed Bakay's March 19 chat, the following is an edited transcript.

jasdfut: What were your influences as a child?

Nick Bakay: Off the top of my head ... the art of Steve Ditko. The 1964 AFL Championship Buffalo Bills. And spinning around in the backyard 'til I dropped.

Sam: Wilma vs. Cool Runnings. Pick? P.S. I love your column! Write more great stuff!! Tell the family hi!

Nick Bakay: I have to admit I've never seen Cool Runnings, though I've always loved John Candy. Subject matter seems to favor Wilma, a true inspiration as opposed to the novelty act of a Bobsled team.

Wayne Daigle: Any thoughts of running "Number One", the Heston movie where he is a quarterback on the Saints and they win? Talk about fiction!

Nick Bakay: As a matter of fact, that's a movie I remember vividly and is high on my request list for our next round of movies. Help me out here, my memory is Heston was a 49er and all the game footage in the movie featured John Brody. I at least hope to get a viewing tape to see if Heston comes close to his greatest moment in Planet of The Apes staring at the Statue of Liberty and uttering the phrase "Oh...My...God!"

StevenH61:Last year I did fine in my NCAA pool, this year it seems the teams I picked are souring just to spite me. Is it because I moved to Buffalo?

Nick Bakay: Perhaps it is related to your recent relocation to the Bermuda Triangle of winning.

S1W: Do you like the movie about Steve Prefountaine? Can't remember the name of it.

Nick Bakay: Actually there are two of them that were released virtually simultaneously. I've caught pieces of the one with Skeet Ulrich. What I saw looked pretty good. A subject matter from the Golden Age of Short Shorts.

william: Are you planning a Tale of the Tape or the Numbers Never Lie book(s)? I enjoy them immensely! Thanks.

Nick Bakay: I appreciate that and it has been discussed with ESPN Books although there are no firm plans as of now. I like the way they work in print in The Magazine and I'd love to see that happen. In the meantime, you can check out the Quotable ESPN where yours truly is second only to Charles Barkley for number of quotes. We are working on a website TBA that will have a Tale of the Tape archive.

pfwk: How much does ESPN pay you?

Nick Bakay: I never discuss money on the internet but I will say my contract contains a rider which provides me with a year's supply worth of eskimo pies.

STERNFAN: I could swear I saw you on Conan O'Brien once. Are you planning any personal appearances anywhere?

Nick Bakay: I've done Conan twice and the week of April 10, believe it or not, I will be appearing on that hen party The View and have reason to believe I'll do Conan again that week as well, but not as yet confirmed. Ba Ba Ooey. Doing the Stern show would be a dream come true.

Asherg: Do you still "shag and bag?"

Nick Bakay: Shaggin' is not only a way of life but it is the phrase I coined back in the glory days of The Comedy Channel when we had 90 minutes of TV to fill five days a week and no one was around to say "you can't do that."

TGIF KID: Will Salem The Cat come to life this season on "Sabrina The Teenage Witch"? Also, is Nick Bakay the man, different than Nick Bakay - the voice of Salem?

Nick Bakay: No plans as of yet to shed the fur. I would say the difference between NB and the cat is my inability to groom every part of my body.

Ed Vahovick: What's your favorite team to win the NCAA men's basketball tournament?

Nick Bakay: I'm going to go out on a limb and say UCLA. The team that seems to have saved all of its good play for the playoffs.

pfwk: When are you going to have your own show on ESPN?

Nick Bakay: What a fantastic question! There may be something that the new year brings. Got any suggestions as to what you'd like to see?

william: Nick Bakay vs. Andy Richter separated at birth?

Nick Bakay: The first time I was on Conan O'Brien they did a what if they mated bit and I suggested that I looked like the love child of Andy and Conan. As a former side kick on two different talk shows I have infinite respect for Richter and hope his plans to leave the show work out well for him. This from a man who went from Dennis Miller's side kick to the voice of various woodland creatures.

Landlubber: What did you think of Any Given Sunday?

Nick Bakay: I loved the football action as well as my old In Living Color cohort Jamie Foxx. I just wished the story was better. I'm a huge Oliver Stone fan but this one still takes a back seat in my mind to North Dallas Forty.

Lamont Heard from Baltimore, M: Since VH1 has Rock Jeopardy, has ESPN considered having Sports Jeopardy? (other than the one on the internet)

Nick Bakay: I've heard rumors to that effect but I have no idea if that's in the works. We've been playing around with a few game show ideas with a little more fun in them. I'll keep you posted. I'll take point guards with 17 illegitimate children for $100, Alex.

fan of clown: What ever happened to The Evil Clown? Any chances of a movie or a television show? I've been down with the clown since Issue No. 1. Long Live The Evil Clown!!

Nick Bakay: As Frenchie would say: The man with the paddle makes the rules. The Evil Clown is probably the highlight of my years writing for the National Lampoon. I've often wondered the influence on Homie The Clown and Shakes the Clown. It was created during my bitter years and I'm sure I could tap into that part of myself again. If the people demand it. Glad you remember.

S1W: If you did have a show what would you want it to be about?

Nick Bakay: I'd like to do something that reacted off what was going on in that given week in a funny way as well as add some remotes and create a home for some of the new departments I've thought up as well as Tale of the Tape. And would you mind terribly if I closed each show with a snappy ballad? Which also makes me think the Nick Bakay action dancers could be a home run too. Sort of sports meets Martin's gold diggers.

stopitcarol: Mick Jagger vs. Paul McCartney, let's see how they stack up at Nick Bakay's Tale of the Tape.

Nick Bakay: My wife is gonna kill me 'cuz she worships McCartney but, I'm still recovering from my adolecense when every petting party was taken out of the realm of the lower shockra and into the realm of rock 'n roll accompanied by french horns by the Beatles White Album. Advantage: Jagger, as a proud owner of the original Sticky Fingers on vinyl with the actual working zipper. But they both go down for the count if they had to square off with Foghat. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

John Piorkowski: NBA.com recently did a segment on hairstyles in the NBA. What do you think are some of the worst hairstyles in the NBA? I think the Rick Smits-style mullet is the absolute worst.

Nick Bakay: Interesting, I admire the Smits mullet. It is a courageous and icon clastic choice for the NBA. If you're looking for truly bad basketball hair look no further then Gene comb-over Keady.

Rubin Kincaid: Who has the worst doo in the NCAA tourney? Gene Keady or that dude with the fro from Pepperdine?

Nick Bakay: I think my last answer pretty much captures my attitude here. I love a good fro. Honorable mention: Jeff Van Gundy. Although I'm really pushing the envelop picking on anyone else's hair. I'm thinking about a modified Caesar. Reaction?

Rubin Kincaid: Have you ever been choked by Bobby Knight?

Nick Bakay: For starters, I love the way you handled the Partridge Family and I send you a real. I've never been choked by Indiana's version of Latrell Sprewell, but I love the man because his press conferences are more intense than episodes of Oz.

Rubin Kincaid: You would look great with the Caesar cut. Caesar Romero I presume?

Nick Bakay: To be mentioned in the same sentence as the greatest Joker on Batman (Nicholson included) is an honor.

BrettWWF.com: Tale of the Tape: Duke vs. Michigan State.

Nick Bakay: Who do we have to blame for Christian Laettner? Michigan State: No. Duke: Yes. Advantage: MSU, unless you're a really big fan of head bands. Although I have to confess I attended the same high school as Laettner.

Manly Ron: Wilma's cool but come on man, you're killing us here...

Nick Bakay: I don't pick 'em, I only am forced to watch 'em. You sound like you're a prime candidate for next week's movie ... Pigs vs. Freaks, a surreal small town football game pitting the local hippies against the local cops.

eightofseven: Tale of the Tape: Marge Schott vs. John Rocker.

Nick Bakay: I love it. Vanity Plates: Schott: LSMFT (Lucky Strike Means Fine Taste). Rocker: KUKluxFan! Advantage: push, nobody wins in vanity plates. My guess is when Rocker returns to Shea he's gonna see more batteries than the energizer bunny.

sam: Great movie!!! What did you think of Denzel?

Nick Bakay: A great actor, interesting to see him playing young and sweet now that he's made his name in such powerful roles as Malcolm X and Hurricane.

Ricky Williams: Other than going to high school with the Dixie Chicks, I've been unable to find a way to stand out. Any suggestions?

Nick Bakay: If you're the Ricky Williams I think you are, you did a pretty good job in that wedding dress. If not, maybe you might wanna think about going to a Dixie Chicks show and see if they remember you.

MelissaJoanHart: Who had the best mullet style hair cut ever?

Nick Bakay: Jaromir Jagr and the star of next week's Reel Classic Patrick Swayze. But I'm going to go with Mitch Williams. Great mullet and the pitching style to go with it. Technically, while he may not have had the length in the back for the classic mullet, an honorable mention has to go with Brian Bosworth. All of the sudden I feel like I'm on the Vidal Sasoon website.

Double E: Is Spike Lee really a super fan?

Nick Bakay: You have to hand it to anyone who can give Reggie Miller the trash talk from someone out of uniform. But he lost me when the Knicks let him kiss their ball.

clueless: I just need to know what ESPN stands for. My husband and I cannot figure it out.

Nick Bakay: I've just been informed it's the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. I guess that shoots a hole in my theory: Eligible Single People Nude. But I can still dream, can't I?

sam: How was your day?

Nick Bakay: My day was what I would grade out as a B+. The phone didn't ring too much and yet there was no Sabre game. I was forced to endure "quality time." How was yours?

Hal4: Do you think Doug Flutie will get the most camera time of any NFL backup QB next year?

Nick Bakay: I think you have a point there. Especially if he keeps pouting like a swimsuit model. In fact, I don't think I can name another prominent backup this year.

ROB AMEY: Pro Bowling vs. Pro Billiards. Which is more tedious to watch?

Nick Bakay: I'm gonna give the edge to pro bowling because year in and year out their clothes look like a high speed crash between a used car lot and a 70's disco movie. Billiards wins out when you have two live foxes rackin' 'em up from Atlantic City.

Jamie in Ottawa: Nick ... Any chance of ever showing the foosball classic "Long Shot" on Reel Classics?

Nick Bakay: I don't know about this movie but I'm always open to a potential Reel Classic. I'll look it up, but in the mean time can you tell me anything about it?

Philomath: Major League 3? Why?

Nick Bakay: Good question. I guess they ran out of movies to show on airplanes. But don't get me wrong, we'll take it on our show in a heart beat.

Mets86Matt: Why does the public cry foul over John Rocker for his racially insensitive comments, yet nobody says anything about the team name he plays for (The Braves)? And their Tomahawk Chop has also been deemed offensive by Native Americans.

Nick Bakay: I hear you and it seems that Native Americans have been crying foul for a long time. For that matter, Charles Barkley has said things that were offensive but it just goes to show that the impact of inappropriate statements by icons and images are always relative to the politically correct climate of the times in which they were said. Rockers' remarks were offensive, but are they any more offensive than a team in the new millennium still called the Redskins?

Brett: If the NCAA's were played by mascots alone, who would win?

Nick Bakay: My money would be on the Demon Deacon. I'm a grown man, and he still scares me when the lights are off. Biggest pushover: Stanford, their precocious "we're so smart as to be ironic tree." I have that one earmarked for next year's lumberjack finals.

Bob Dole: Do you prefer Shaq's CD's?

Nick Bakay: To what? When it comes to jocks making music, give me the Super Bowl shuffle Bears every time.