Throughout the hockey season, I'll be teaming up with Phoenix Coyotes forward Paul Bissonnette to give you a weekly inside look at what life is like as an NHL player. For those who might somehow be confused, he lives the life, I just help convey it to the masses. He claims he's not a good enough speller to do this on his own. I thankfully am really good at using spell check.
(Paul didn't want to bore you with a formal introduction so if you're looking for details, I would advise you to type 'Paul Bissonnette' into your Google search bar.)
To quote Paul Bissonnette, "I know I'm a nobody and if it weren't for Twitter, I would be an even bigger nobody."
Perhaps that's why Paul, also known as @BizNasty2point0, is on a mission. A mission to make Twitter better one tweet at a time. Ridding of it the mind-numbing and uninteresting and replacing it with things that people might, gasp, actually care about it. And what better way to kick off this blog than a Twitter lesson from one of the site's best. So here it is. Some Twitter Do's and (mostly) Dont's...
DON'T tweet about what you ate for lunch. No one cares. Seriously. No one.
DO tweet interesting facts. Tell us something we don't already know. People want to follow someone that can provide them with fascinating facts. Even though Paul claims to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, he still want to learn about cool stuff.
DON'T call Paul, or anyone you don't actually know for that matter, a, uh, goof. If you're sitting on your couch, sending derogatory tweets to people you don't know, you might want to invest in a hobby.
DO retweet pictures of attractive women. People are attracted to beautiful things.
DON'T retweet every tweet about how hot you are. Your thumbnail picture can only carry your vanity so far. Being self absorbed isn't attractive.
DON'T tweet for the sake of tweeting. If you don't have anything interesting to share, don't share it. People have been asking Paul lately why his tweets seem more infrequent as of late. He just doesn't want to clog up your timeline with yawn-inducing 'at practice' posts.
DON'T post the MySpace (circa 2003) self portraits where you pose in front of a mirror as if it's Maxim. You're not Lindsay Lohan. Lucky for you. No need to scream your desperation to the world. Okay, that one didn't come from Paul. But I couldn't write this piece and not add that. It's for your best interest. Now back to Paul…
DON'T spend your time on Twitter looking to get retweeted by people. Begging for a retweet is the saddest thing about Twitter.
DO use Twitter to meet women. Paul has done this more than a few times.
DO be genuine. Without this quality, Twitter would just be a stream of letters, 140 at a time. Paul has amassed over 150,000 people that simply like his personality and find his honesty refreshing. And, even if you're not a guy lucky enough to play hockey for a living, it might work for you as well.
Have questions about Paul's life or suggestions for future blog posts? Leave a comment in the designated section or contact us on Twitter @BizNasty2point0 or @darcymaine_espn.