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Glossary of terms and teams



All-mystique: inconsistent

Blender: an unselfish player

Bringing a W: getting a win

Cream Puff Delight: coach who plays an easy schedule

December: ZZZZ time because teams have been loading up on patsies

Diaper dandy: sensational freshman

Dipsy-doo Dunk-a-roo: flashy slam dunk

Dishes the rock: passes the ball

Doughnut offense: team without a center

Dow Joneser: up-and-down, inconsistent player

Drillin' Reggies when they need Pete Roses: taking long shots when they need short shots

High Riser: good leaper (see Skywalker)

Human Space Ship: big player

Isolation Man: great one-on-one player

Key or Engine: the player who leads the team

Knee-knocker: close game

M&Mer: a mismatch

MIAer: player who disappears

Mr. Pac Man: eats you alive on defense

N.C.: no contest

Perimeter J: a jump shot

P.T.: playing time

P.T.P.: a prime-time player

Prime Time: good basketball, what people pay to see

Q.T.: quality time

Shoots the area-code J: shoots from long distance

Skywalker: good leaper (see High Riser)

Slam, Bam, Jam: an impressive slam dunk

Space Eater: big guy

Strawberry Shortcake: NCAA tournament time, when the underachievers get their just desserts

Surf and Turfer: superstar

3-D Man: he drives, he draws, he dishes

Times Square: playing slow-tempo

Trifecta: three-point basket

Indianapolis Raceway: up-tempo

Wilson Sandwich: what you get when your shot is rejected in your face

Xs and Os: used to explain strategy


All-Alcatraz Team: players expected to have breakout seasons

All-Airport Team: players who look good in airports but get no playing time

All-AT&T Team: long-distance bombers

All-Avis Team: players who try harder

All-Diaper Dandies Team: top freshman players

All-Frank Lloyd Wright Team: coaches who are master architects building a program

All-Innovative Team: great point guards

All-Marco Polo Team: best transfer players

All-Michelangelo Team: coaches who are brilliant artists at work

All-Overrated Team: players who have been built up as stars but don't deliver

All-Potential Team: players who need to start living up to the billing they received in high school

All-Rip Van Winkle Team: players who are sleepers

All-Rolls Royce Team: superstars at their positions

All-Solid Gold Preseason Team: the five best players by position

All-SportsCenter Team: coaches who need PR

All-Used Car Salesman Team: coaches who are good salesman

All-Volkswagen Team: players who aren't superstars but are dependable

All-Wacko Team: coaches who display unorthodox methods and styles

All-Windex Team: players who clean the glass (i.e., great rebounders)

All-World B. Free Team: players with the best names

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