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The ultimate backdoor play

Updated: May 31, 2005, 2:12 PM ET
By Bill Simmons | Page 2 columnist

I'm not a morning person. I can't emphasize that strongly enough. When I was a kid, my parents would try to wake me up for school and I would re-enact various scenes from "The Exorcist," replete with swear words and my head doing 360s. In college, my classes were selected solely by the times -- there was one semester when I didn't have a single class that started before 1 p.m. Basically, I had to become either a bartender, a writer or a toll collector when I grew up. I can't even handle buying ...

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