Going, going ... boring

Rafael Palmeiro hit his 500th home run Sunday, but Page 2's Brian Murphy is more interested in Jack Nicholson and the Marlins.

Updated: May 14, 2003, 3:03 PM ET
By Brian Murphy | Special to Page 2

Rafael Palmeiro ... uh, cool!

I guess.

So ... uh, way to go, Raffy.

You hit your 500th home run.

You became just one of 19 men to do it.

You're absolutely the, uh ... the, uh ... well, one of the best designated hitters I've ever seen!

Dweller, forgive me. The Cooler salutes, of course, Rafael Palmeiro's significant achievement. Dixie cup is raised, Sparkletts is downed and we cue the highlight reel of the latest to ...

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