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Back in action and ready to scream

When is a bad back a good thing for Bill Simmons? When it lets him watch an entire weekend of NCAA hoops.

Updated: May 31, 2005, 2:21 PM ET
By Bill Simmons | Page 2 columnist

For anyone suffering from severe back problems -- like me, for instance -- March Madness feels like a three-hour massage and a bottle of Percocets combined.

See, my doctor implored me to stay off my feet for a few days. That's the only way screwed-up backs can heal. Unfortunately, I can't stay off my feet. I just can't. If I'm lying around the house for too long, I get bored, I get restless ... next thing you know, I'm pushing a shopping cart around Target, battling 400-pound guys for the ...

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