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Read it and believe it

A week into the baseball season, Page 2's Eric Neel can't believe the headlines he's been reading.

Updated: April 16, 2004, 12:15 PM ET
By Eric Neel | Page 2

It's been a busy first week, and I'm behind in my reading, but these are the headlines that caught my eye:

PHILLIES HIRE DJ JAZZY JEFF TO REPLACE BOWA Philadelphia -- "He's a local guy, which we like," said GM Ed Wade. "Plus, he's easygoing, a real players' manager." Shortstop Jimmy Rollins said the team is looking forward to starting fresh with Jeff: "We like his sunglasses, and his snazzy clothes. Plus, he doesn't talk too much, you know what I'm saying?"

ELDERLY WOMAN SEES ...

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