I'm not sure if you're 10 or 20 or finding it hard to believe you're almost 30.
For all I know, I'm writing this to the ageless kid in me.
But in a way, kid, I'll feel sorry for you tonight. I fear you've been spoiled beyond repair. You've watched Home Run Derbies featuring Mark McGwire (in 1999) and Sammy Sosa (2000) at their larger-than-life strongest, and you'll inevitably find tonight's competition a toy-soldier bore.