Let's pretend for a moment that baseball resembles real life. It'll take a stretch, but maybe everyone can close their eyes and let their minds drift into the realm of the outlandish.
First, we have Ozzie Guillen and his now-epic and ever-childish back-and-forth with Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti. Guillen called Mariotti a "bleeping fag" -- except he didn't say "bleeping." Guillen was ordered to take sensitivity training, a prospect he promptly mocked.