By George, seven bad words for fantasy baseball

Updated: June 23, 2008, 9:15 PM ET
By Eric Karabell
I still get a kick out of watching a George Carlin stand-up routine on TV or video. I saw him in person in concert once, and I don't know if I've ever laughed that hard again. Carlin was very creative and wouldn't abide by any boundaries, and it turned out the Supreme Court agreed with him. Anyway, you can read all about Carlin's life on news sites today, as the comedian passed on from heart failure at the age of 71 over the weekend. He will be missed.

In honor of Carlin's "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" sketch, which still cracks me up to this day 30-some years after I remember hearing it for the first time, here are the seven words (or phrases) you never want to hear in fantasy baseball, in no particular order.

Collusion: I've never been a part of this word on the bad end, which means I haven't pushed words like integrity and fair play too far in a fantasy game, but I have had to deal with this as commissioner and league mate. It stinks. Win or lose the game the right way, I say. If you're in first, earn your championship. If you're in last, try to get into ninth place rather than sinking even further into oblivion. Or, as Mike Tyson, another pretty good comedian, once said, before you fade into "Bolivian." Dumping belongs in this section as well. I don't want a championship decided by one owner helping out another, or helping out the entire league, yet people still do this, even in my leagues.