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Huhhhpy John Lott Day, everyone!

Updated: February 25, 2011, 2:45 PM ET
By Patrick Hruby

On behalf of all right-thinking Americans -- nay, right-thinking citizens of the world -- Page 2 proudly issues the following proclamation.

Happy John Lott Day!

No, we're not talking about John Locke. Nor are we talking about Ronnie Lott. We mean John Lott: Arizona Cardinals strength coach, motivator extraordinaire, the guy who stands over the bench press at the ongoing NFL Draft combine. Lott is a living, breathing supernova of uncontainable awesomeness, a man ...

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