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Charlie Sheen: His real quotes tied to real athletes

Updated: March 9, 2011, 10:40 AM ET
By Rick Reilly

There's nothing more fascinating than a man whose life is circling the drain mistaking it for a Six Flags ride. That's why, for me, the more Charlie Sheen the better.

Please, Mark Cuban, do a show with this man. Please, Warner Brothers, do "Major League 3" with this man. Please, Quiksilver, come out with a Charlie Sheen mercury surfboard.

If Sheen would come to sports next, we sportswriter trolls would send a stretch limo to his house just for the privilege of writing ...

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