On Black Friday, Page 2 suggests you not to leave your house.

It's a madhouse out there, and Page 2 knows exactly what people want for Christmas:

•Jimmy Clausen, who needs boxing lessons or the ability to see behind him.

•Jimmie Johnson, who needs a little respect from those outside NASCAR.

•LeBron James, who needs a new wheelbarrel to carry Shaq. And some new shocks.

•Ben Roethlisberger, who needs a bigger padded helmet. One for Kurt Warner too.

•Theo Epstein, who desperately needs Roy Halladay.

•The Buffalo Bills, who need someone to answer their want ad (besides Mike Martz).

•Allen Iverson, who needs a phone call from a contender -- and a body that can still back up his mouth.

•Jeff Fisher, who needs a time machine so he could have started Vince Young three weeks ago.

•The New Jersey Nets, who need part-owner Jay-Z to perform nightly to get people in the stands.

•And Page 2 staff, who need antacid after eating all that turkey on Thursday.

A few weeks ago I nominated firejoshmcdanielsnow.com as the Page 2 site of the day. At that time it had been re-named Keep Josh McDaniels. Because the Broncos were good. As I said, it was a few weeks ago. But it now seems like an eternity.

I thought I'd catch up with the owner of the site, Mark Leher, a 27-year-old head of business development for a small tech company in Denver, to see where his site stands at 6-4.

Q: You started FireJoshMcDanielsNow.com back in March. Then, after Denver started 6-0, you kept the URL but changed the title to Keep Coach Josh McDaniels. Now that the Broncos lost four in a row, do you feel vindicated?

A: I did change the title after the 6-0 start because McDaniels had done well enough to deserve to keep his job, and I did get the URL KeepJoshMcdaniels.com but I was too lazy to actually make the change. Now I'm glad I was. He probably doesn't deserve to be fired, but it turns out a lot of the reasons I had for starting the site seem to be valid and may have just been masked by the Broncos great start. The way McDaniels taunted the Chargers before they destroyed us on Sunday is a perfect example of why he may not be ready to be a head coach in the NFL yet. In fact, in honor of the incident, I'm thinking of changing the site's name again to www.TheChargersOwnJoshMcDaniels.com.

Q: What's been the general feedback?

A: Tthere have been hundreds of comments on the site and it's been a roller coaster. The anger was initially directed at Josh McDaniels and people were pretty upset about losing Cuter. Then, starting after the Broncos were 3-0 and really peaking after they beat New England and San Diego, the comments were jut as vitriolic as before but instead it was targeted at me. There were also a lot of people who had been pretty quiet in the off-season that suddenly claimed to have known all along that the Broncos were going to be great. Please. Now, with each subsequent loss, the angry attacks against me have disappeared and they are starting to be replaced by more people questioning McDaniels. For now, I can probably safely fire the security guard that sits outside my house.

Q: Any chance you'll start up the FireJoshMcDanielsNow petition again?

A: I'm a fickle guy and I might very well start up the petition again -- and then end it -- and then restart it. In all seriousness, I do think McDaniels has coached well enough to deserve another season at least.

Q: Do you mind if I buy the url: LetsKeepOpenMindAboutJoshMcDanielsAndSeeIfBroncosImproveNextYearOr2.net?

A: Just please add a link back to my site.

So I'm kicking back on Wednesday evening, getting ready to start my holiday weekend by having a couple beers and watching some basketball. My options were the UConn-LSU game, or the Magic-Heat game.

Nine times out of 10, I'll pick college hoops. But for some reason, I decided to go with the NBA for a change.

What a mistake.

I flipped on the game just as it was getting ready to tip off. The respective starting fives had just taken the court. And I have to say, I was disgusted by what I saw. The opposing players were all smiles, laughing, exchanging jokes and pleasantries, hugging and embracing one another -- it was as if they'd all just been rescued from a desert island or something.

Heck, it even appeared that Dwyane Wade and Dwight Howard had their own choreographed routine, capped off by Wade's leaping up to bop Howard in the shoulder.

YOU GUYS PLAY ON OPPOSITE TEAMS!

Call me crazy, but I miss the days when players just slapped hands, or gave a brief handshake before tipoff. Show me some cold, icy stares. I know it's early in the abominably long NBA regular season -- but these two teams are in the same division, and will be battling all season long for a division title and playoff position. Where is the friggin' intensity?

The game ended up with a great finish. But it was ruined for me at the start.

With today being Thanksgiving, we've decided to seek out athletes with "food" names:

Name	League	Draft status
Mitch Berger	NFL	193rd overall pick (6th round), 1994 NFL Draft
Coco Crisp	MLB	7th round pick, 1999 MLB Draft
Chili Davis	MLB	11th round pick, 1977 MLB Draft
Bubba Franks	NFL	14th overall pick, 2000 NFL Draft
Channing Frye	NBA	8th overall pick, 2005 NBA Draft
Darvin Ham	NB	Undrafted
Jack Ham	NFL	34th overall pick (2nd round), 1971 NFL Draft
Cornbread Maxwell	NBA	12th overall pick, 1977 NBA Draft
Jerod Mayo	NFL	10th overall pick, 2008 NFL Draft
O.J. Mayo	NBA	3rd overall pick, 2008 NBA Draft
Chad Mustard	NFL	Undrafted
Jim Rice	MLB	15th overall pick, 1971 MLB Draft
Jerry Rice	NFL	16th overall pick, 1985 NFL Draft
Samari Rolle	NFL	46th overall pick (2nd round), 1998 NFL Draft
Antrel Rolle	NFL	8th overall pick, 2005 NFL Draft
Dijon Thompson	NBA	54th overall pick (2nd round), 2005 NBA Draft

Game over. Say good night. When Allen Iverson announced plans to retire from pro basketball, he cited a desire to spend "quality time with my wife and kids." Which means there's zero chance he's coming back. Right?

If history is any guide, probably not:

Michael Jordan

Retirement: Stunned basketball world by walking away from NBA in 1993 … at age 29 … on the heels of three consecutive championships. Um, ?como?

Rationale: "It's time to be a little unselfish in terms of spending more time with my wife and kids."

Return: Spent his only year of retirement playing -- and we use the term loosely re: hitting the curveball -- minor league baseball with the Birmingham Barons, then returned to pro hoops. When Jordan said "a little," he really, really meant it.

Stan Van Gundy

Retirement: Quit as Miami Heat coach in 2005, a decision that had absolutely nothing to do with Pat Riley's talk about taking a more hands-on role with a title contender.

Rationale: "I've got a 14-year-old daughter and it started to hit me when I started thinking about her birthday, which was last month. I've got four more years left with her. Four. And then she'll be off to college and I'm just not willing to sacrifice any more of those four more years."

Return: Hired as Orlando Magic coach in 2007, stunning worldwide mathematical community with proof that 2 = 4.

Mike Holmgren

Retirement: Stepped down as Seattle Seahawks head coach following 2008 season; as a farewell gift, team gave him a red Harley motorcycle.

Rationale: "It's not what I'll miss, it's what I'll gain. I'll gain a lot more time with my family."

Return: Recently told a Seattle radio station he would be interested in taking over the struggling Cleveland Browns. So much for family. And that chopper.

Kim Clijsters

Retirement: Grand Slam champ and world No. 4 announced sudden retirement in the spring of 2007, ending a 10-year career.

Rationale: Cited chronic injuries, as well as it being "time for a new life. Time for marriage. Time for children? Time also to relax and to play with my dogs. And especially to spend a lot of time with my family and friends."

Return: After marrying and having a child, she resumed play this spring; capped year by winning U.S. Open. Changing diapers is so overrated.

Michael Jordan, Take 2

Retirement: Capped another run of three consecutive championships by leaving NBA for the second time in 1999.

Rationale: "Now, I just want to enjoy my time with my family and friends, just recapture some of the time I gave away."

Return: Time-recapturing agenda as lasting as Bush administration's "ownership society" initiative, as Jordan became Washington Wizards president of basketball operations in 2000, then returned as a player in 2001.

It's been an amazing year for Chris Daughtry and his band: There's a No. 1 single, "No Surprise," off the group's second album, "Leave This Town," which also went to No. 1; they're on a nationwide arena tour this fall; and Thursday, the band will perform a medley of songs during halftime of the Dallas Cowboys' game against the Oakland Raiders.

The band's performance is the official kickoff of the Salvation Army's 2009 Red Kettle Christmas Campaign. It's been nearly 120 years since the Salvation Army began standing on street corners with iconic red kettles accepting donations to help the needy.

Page 2 caught up with the band to talk about football and, of course, food.

Chris, are you excited to be performing on Thanksgiving Day? And who are you rooting for?

Yes, it's an honor! Cowboys, baby!

I assume the band's big sports fans because you've played at the Indy 500, NCAA basketball tournament, and some MLB and NFL games. What is your favorite sport?

Depends on who you ask. I would have to say football. It's aggressive and mean … like us. Hahahaha.

The band has been on the road forever. How can you celebrate holidays if you're always on the road?

We get together and have a great dinner and just hang out. This year, we'll celebrate on the Cowboys field!

Have a favorite Thanksgiving memory?

I don't remember a specific Thanksgiving, but every year was family and great Southern cooking at my grandma and grandaddy's house. And then an amazing nap.

America, take heart: We may be increasingly addled by and in thrall to button-pressing, butt-sitting digital distractions -- one nation under "Modern Warfare 2" -- but our professional athletes still have their priorities straight.

Well, at least Evan Longoria does.

After the Tampa Bay slugger was named the cover boy for the upcoming 2K Sports release "MLB 2K10" -- by the way, vote for your favorite cover image here -- we had to ask: What was the bigger honor, gracing a game box or being named the 2008 AL Rookie of the Year?

"Probably rookie of the year," Longoria said. "I mean, you only get one chance to win rookie of the year, whereas you can become a better player over your career and get on the cover."

Probably? Eh, good enough. What else did Longoria have to say? Read on ...

Read More »

Some people -- specifically, Michael Jordan's undead legion of media sycophants, reflected glory addicts and folks who still care about $200 basketball shoes -- like to joke that the only person who could stop the former NBA superstar was his college coach, Dean Smith.

These people are wrong.

In reality, two individuals memorably put the kibosh on Jordan. One is Smith. The other is former Washington Wizards owner Abe Pollin, who died Tuesday at 85. The latter is more interesting, because while Smith trumped Jordan through power and authority, Pollin earned a checkmate the old-fashioned way: by playing the hoops assassin like a wind-up toy.

A recap: In 2000, Jordan bought a 10 percent share of the Wizards and became the club's president of basketball operations, then sold that share to make a comeback the next season. Problem was, the team floundered on the floor (compiling a 110-179 record with Jordan), suffered from lousy decisions (drafting Kwame Brown, hiring Leonard Hamilton, trading Rip Hamilton) and endured a front office schism between Pollin loyalists and Jordan's handpicked lackeys. Also, Jordan often seemed more interested in golf, cigars, travel and golf than in mismanaging running the club on a day-to-day basis.

Nevertheless, Jordan fully expected to resume his executive position following his third and final retirement. Pollin said no. He evaluated Jordan's mediocre performance. Noted the franchise's internal dissention. Had the guts to kick the most celebrated person on Earth to the curb -- almost literally, as a convertible-driving Jordan sped off from the team's arena in a humiliated huff, never to be seen again -- even as local media savaged him for the move.

Did Pollin plan things that way? Did he take advantage of Jordan's insatiable playing itch, enjoy two seasons of profitable sellouts and No. 23 Bullets throwback jerseys, and then dump a sucker who should have known better? Maybe. I like to think so. Regardless, Pollin won. And it was beautiful. Illuminating, even. The lessons for the rest of us? Beware hubris. Get things in writing. Don't mistake checkers for chess. And never, ever assume skill at bouncing a ball makes you smarter than the guy who built the court.