John Sciulli/WireImage for Bragman Nyman CafarelliIs it this item a thinly veiled excuse for us to run a photo of Brooklyn Decker? You be the judge.

Presenting Page 2's adjusted* men's professional tennis rankings for the week of Feb. 7:

1. Andy Roddick

2. That Federer guy

3-499. Everyone else

* Adjusted rankings based on weighted tournament results, Grand Slam performances, match statistics and spouse appearances on cover of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

Lose all your money betting on the Super Bowl? Make a little extra cash this week by perusing Page 2's own Classifraud Ads.

FOR SALE: One Super Bowl-winning blueprint. Slightly soiled. Also for sale -- 9,989 T-shirts that say, "Welcome Home, Colts!" (We ordered 10,000, but only 11 fans showed up at the airport.) Will consider trade for draft picks. Call Jim or Bill at Lucas Oil Stadium.

HELP WANTED: Tradition-rich college basketball team, playing biggest rival, desperately seeks outside shooters. Freshmen are OK. MUST PLAY DEFENSE! Call Roy at the Dean Dome in Chapel Hill, N.C.

IDENTITY THEFT! Attention -- a man in the Orlando area was recently spotted impersonating Vince Carter, circa 2004. The fraud wore Carter's uniform and looked just like him, but tipped his hand by scoring 48 points against the Hornets. Please call the Orlando police with any information.

EQUIPMENT WANTED: College basketball team, former No. 1, needs parachute to stop free fall into the NIT, save job. Burnt orange preferred, not a must. Call R. Barnes in Austin, Texas.

NEED TO BUY: Snow. They say the Inuit peoples see dozens of different kinds of snow. We need them all now! For more info, please contact the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, ASAP.

The Indianapolis Colts had 11 fans waiting for them at the airport when they returned home from Miami. That's right: 11. No ",000" no "k". Just 11. Where were the rest of the team's fans and why didn't they show their support? It turns out the members of Colts Nation State Village had many different reasons for staying home. Here are a few:

• enjoying Indianapolis' famous … shrimp cocktail?

• shopping for Acuras.

• standing in line for tickets for the Indianapolis Indians -- proud Triple-A affiliate of the Pittsburgh Pirates!

• still too distraught about that Week 16 loss to the Jets.

• airport runway wasn't domed.

• cornholing.

Kent Phillips 

One of these dudes is the country's biggest cultural icon ... and the other is a mouse (and our boss).

While the folks of Main Street, USA, in Disney World certainly know how to throw a parade, there's something about Tuesday's parade in New Orleans that might just have a little more ... hmm ... shall we say joie de vivre to it.

Keystone/Getty ImagesYou'll be surprised at the connections between the Saints, Colts and the characters in "M*A*S*H."

While some people were surprised by the two-touchdown Saints victory over the Colts on Sunday, many were just as astonished at the game's television rating -- topping the 1983 finale of "M*A*S*H" to become the most-watched program in U.S. television history.

Page 2 believes there is more to this than meets the eye. Upon closer examination of Sunday's theatrics, we think the characters and storylines of Super Bowl XLIV nearly mirror those involved in "M*A*S*H." Thus, Page 2 presents the following "M*A*S*H"-up consisting of Super Bowl XLIV figures cast as iconic "M*A*S*H" characters.

Garrett Hartley as "Radar" O'Reilly
Like O'Reilly, the place-kicker for the Saints seems to have an extra sense about him. Hartley called his dad at 2:15 a.m. the morning before the NFC Championship Game reporting he had a vision of himself kicking the game-winning field goal. Well, we all know how that prediction turned out -- in fact, it was just as good as all three 40-plus-yard field goals Hartley nailed during the Super Bowl.

Father R. Tony Ricard (Saints chaplain)/Father Peter Gallagher (Colts chaplain) as Father Mulcahy
It appears that the man upstairs was partial to Father Ricard and the Saints, but check out this interesting piece on both team chaplains.

Peyton Manning as Frank Burns
Before heading to the battlefield, Burns apparently had a long apprenticeship under his father -- sound familiar? And guess where Burns honed his craft? In Indiana. Like Burns, Manning is a stickler for preparation and protocol, as evidenced by his no-nonsense Super Bowl week routine.

Read More »

ESPN.com Illustration 

Uh oh! It's almost Valentine's Day!

Whether your looking to please your man or your woman, relax -- we got you covered.

GIFT GUIDE: FOR MEN | FOR WOMEN

Harry How/Getty ImagesKody Lostroh won five PBR events en route to capturing the 2009 championship.

With another bowl officially in the books, it's time to move the chains down the page in the sporting phone book to bull. We caught up with defending Professional Bull Riders circuit world champion Kody Lostroh to try and figure out just why mamas shouldn't let their babies to grow up to be like him. Grab a spot by the campfire, cowboy, and wise up on the sport whose season is just heating up. Rule No. 1: Don't squat with your spurs on.

Page 2: I once had a few wild go-rounds on a mechanical bull in a New Orleans bar -- Bourbon Cowboy -- so I want you to know that I already have a pretty good understanding of what it takes to be a rodeo champ.

Kody Lostroh: Mechanical bulls are just bar amusement rides, really. They might look like the real thing but they don't compare a dang bit.

Really? I'm telling you this one on Bourbon Street is legit. I was pretty sore the next day, so I can only imagine the beating you take from the real thing.

Yeah, our pain tolerance is probably higher than the average, but we've been doing this our whole lives, so we're used to living a little banged up. Actually, it's only when you take some time off that you realize how good your body feels when it's not sore. You kind of get used to it.

Read More »

As we close the book on another NFL season, Queen Latifah reflects on the game.

AP Photo/David J. PhillipQueen Latifah admitted being nervous before performing at the Super Bowl.

"Football is America. There is nothing like the Super Bowl," said Latifah, who sang "America the Beautiful" before the opening kickoff. "It allows all us to come together and show how passionate we are about our country."

Latifah, who has sung/rapped and acted for about 20 years, said she was actually nervous to perform at the Super Bowl. "Just the whole world is watching," she quipped as she walked off the field. "I was shaking, and I'm still shaking."

There were lots of celebrities in attendance at Sunday's game: singer Jennifer Lopez, who showed up with husband Marc Anthony and their children; actor Brad Pitt; actress Alyssa Milano; singer Rihanna; and actors Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, who were on the field before the start of the game.

Actor John Travolta left with about eight minutes remaining. The game hadn't even been decided at that point.

"It was an exciting game," he said as he walked through the tunnel underneath Sun Life Stadium. "But I have to leave."

Why?

"Well, because I'm me."

That pretty much summed up the Super Bowl.

Our SportsNation friends invite you to cast your vote for the ultimate NBA poster dunks.

We begin our bracket with 16 legendary dunks, but only one can win. Check out all 16 dunks and make your opinion known by clicking here.

To check out Seattle's Shawn Kemp throwing down on Golden State's Alton Lister in 1992, click on the video below.

The Vince Lombardi Trophy is priceless, right?

Chris Graythen/Getty Images

Don't be so sure. Cash4Gold has estimated that if the hallowed hardware were melted down, it would be worth $1,450 based upon the current price of silver.

Of course, this got us thinking about what we could buy if we ever got our hands on that kind of loot:

• A Super Bowl XLIV football and a Super Bowl XLIV champs helmet, both autographed by Peyton Manning, a customized No. 81 "Baskett" jersey, an "Own the Moment" Super Bowl XLIV license plate frame and three Super Bowl XLI champions pennants to remember happier times

• Seventy-nine copies of "Busted: The Rise and Fall of Art Schlichter"

• Fifty-eight Jeff George autographed rookie cards

• Pretty much as many tickets to the Pacers as you would ever want

• Approximately 285 tasty drinks at a drive-through daiquiri shop in Louisiana and a Peyton Manning waste basket in which to throw up

AP Photo/Charlie RiedelChad Ochocinco was right at home at the Super Bowl, even if the Bengals weren't parties to the game.

Chad Ochocinco is a 14-year-old boy in a 32-year-old man's body.

I'm allowed to say that because I spent a week in his inner circle.

Page 2 partnered with Ochocinco and his Ochocinco News Network for Super Bowl week, so I spent many hours talking with the Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver, many hours chasing him down to return my phone calls and many hours dealing with Chad being Chad.

• He really loves Twitter. He's a guy who loves attention -- that's fairly obvious -- but he loves to control the message. That's why he loves to update his Twitter page using his Motorola Cliq. He can write 140 characters of happiness, delivering his message to more than 740,000 followers. He can't stop staring at his phone.

• He loves McDonald's. That's not just because he has a promotional deal with the fast food giant. He really does love a quarter pounder with extra cheese and no onions. He also goes there for breakfast, and he's unhappy if the restaurant isn't open late. He is always hungry. One time he was so hungry he tried ordering me to get him food. I said no.

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Rap legend Ice Cube has long been influential in the world of music, but you might not know he's also written, directed or produced more than 15 films.

He directed "Straight Outta L.A." for ESPN's "30 For 30" documentary series. The film chronicles how the Los Angeles Raiders became intertwined with the Southern California rap culture in the 1980s. It debuts on ESPN on May 11 at 8 p.m. ET.

• Chat with Ice Cube about Black History Month and "30 For 30" on Monday at 4 p.m.

• ESPN.com's Black History Month home page

• ESPN.com's "30 For 30" home page

Anyone who reads Page 2 knows Scoop Jackson isn't shy about sharing his opinion about any issue on the table.

Join Scoop to chat about Black History Month on Monday at 2 p.m. ET.

• Click here to join SportsNation in chatting with Scoop Jackson.

AP Photo/Jim R. BoundsRoy Williams is not a happy man these days.

Welcome back to the College Hoops DVR, in which -- depending on whim -- we look backward or forward or just let things play, always in quick succession.

REW: Duke's proposed Super Bowl ad -- a rabid Blue Devils fan sitting beside an attractive female -- was rejected by CBS for being patently impossible.

REW: During Colorado's overtime loss to No. 1 Kansas, Colorado fans chanted "Overrated" at the visiting Jayhawks. They followed that up by chanting "We are losers."

STOP: In its ongoing campaign against obesity and poor eating habits, the University of California-Berkeley will no longer recruit McDonald's All-Americans.

PLAY: Nine-year-old hoops phenom Skip Tumylou, a third-grader from South Central Los Angeles, has narrowed his college choices to USC, UCLA and the Sorbonne.

Read More »

Los Angeles Dodgers manager Joe Torre shows off his acting chops on ABC's "Castle" at 10 p.m. ET.

Check out a preview in the video clip below.