by DJ Gallo

Also Receiving Votes

  • Q: What streak did Rafael Nadal continue on Sunday? A: Most days with very tan lower shins.
  • Q: Who showed he's not the pitcher he once was? A: Randy Johnson. Only 10 K's against the Pirates? Pathetic.
  • Q: Who proved he shouldn't have been moved down in the order? A: Andruw Jones, with 5 K's against the Red Sox. Take that, Bobby Cox!


  • Odds on what else Jason Giambi has done that could void his contract:
  • 5 to 1 Repeatedly breaks team rule requiring players to shower at least once a month
  • 4 to 1 Leaked secret that Derek Jeter's cologne is made of a mix of jockstrap sweat and A-Rod's tears
  • 3 to 1 Refuses to give his leftover steroids to Roger Clemens
  • 2 to 1 Often gets swing tips from Jeremy Giambi

Not In This Issue

  • Preakness winner now glad he never got that nose job he always wanted
  • Yankees praying Carl Pavano will admit to using steroids
  • Cardinals' struggles tempting Scott Spiezio to dye his soul patch blue
  • Quiz Questions To Get Your Brain Working On A Monday Morning
  • 1 Who Has Run Out Of Halftime Speeches After 22 Years?

    Answer: Jerry Sloan. After the Jazz fell behind by 18 at the half yesterday -- before going on to lose 108-100 -- Sloan said his players were "looking for excuses" and told his team in the locker room: "If you're intimidated and you don't think you want to go out there and compete, then stay in the locker room." Seriously, Jerry? That's the best you could come up with? Every athlete has heard that clichéd speech countless times. And excuses? Your team had plenty. For example, David Stern not letting Amare Stoudemire suit up for Utah for Game 1. That was unfair.

  • 2 What Was Overtime Of Ducks-Red Wings Pre-empted For?

    Answer: Nothing, surprisingly. One day after NBC sent the end of Ottawa's series-clinching victory over Buffalo to Versus in order to air prerace coverage of the Preakness, Game 5 of Anaheim-Detroit extended beyond regulation yesterday afternoon. And when Teemu Selanne won the game for Anaheim 11:57 into overtime, NBC was still airing the game. They didn't cut to prerace coverage of the Belmont Stakes. They didn't even cut to a broadcast of "Heidi." Although Andreas Lilja's giveaway to Selanne in front of the net did kind of look like a little Swiss girl trying to handle the puck.

  • 3 Who Is Getting Cross-Examined Today?

    Answer: Floyd Landis. The shockingly interesting Floyd Landis hearing continues today with Landis taking the stand to answer questions from U.S. Anti-Doping Agency attorneys. It will likely be a long and difficult process. And while I'm no law expert, I would suggest to Landis that while he may tire during testimony today, he would be wise to not inject testosterone into himself while on the stand. It might hurt his case.

  • 4 Who Will Be Traveling On John Madden's Bus?

    Answer: Roger Clemens. Clemens is scheduled to start for the Double-A Trenton Thunder on Wednesday and will be making the journey from Manhattan to Trenton on the Maddencruiser. I don't know if John Madden will travel along with him, but if so, I think it's a very important step for the broadcasting legend. Because if he's not scared of being in Trenton, then there's absolutely no reason for him to be scared of flying.

  • 5 Who Set A Record For Volleyball Wins By A Female?

    Answer: Misty May-Treanor. The Olympic champion and her partner, Kerri Walsh, won the AVP Hermosa Beach Open yesterday, giving May-Treanor 73 career titles -- one better than Holly McPeak. May-Treanor is still 75 titles short of Karch Kiraly's overall record. And she also is just short of another record: most bits of sand lodged in various body crevices during an entire lifetime. Just 314 more and she bests the mark currently held by Stickycracks McGee.

  • 6 Who Hates Boston More Than Yankees Fans?

    Answer: The Kentucky Wildcats. Kentucky was scheduled to play UMass at Boston's TD Banknorth Garden on Nov. 24, but has instead decided to pay a $50,000 buyout to get out of the game. UMass officials obviously aren't happy. But Kentucky might be on to something here. If the Wildcats can afford to cancel their games against Florida, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, Georgia and South Carolina, they have a shot at going undefeated in the SEC in Billy Gillispie's first season on the job. That would be quite an accomplishment!

  • 7 Who Joined Pele In The 1,000 Goals Club?

    Answer: Romario. The 41-year-old Brazilian legend scored his 1,000th career goal yesterday while playing for Rasco. Romario's total is disputed, however, because he counts goals scored in many unofficial matches. In fact, FIFA has his total at 929 goals. It's kind of like how I consider myself the high school basketball career points leader in my state's history, but state officials only recognize the few hundred points I scored on the court and not the 5,000-plus I netted in high school while playing NBA Live. It's a total rip-off.

  • 8 Who Proved They're Not Afraid To Punch A Girl?

    Answer: Justin Miller. The Jets return man got into a fight at a New York City nightclub early Sunday morning and accidentally punched a woman while swinging at a man. He then ran from the scene, but was quickly apprehended by police. I'm not sure who got the worst black eye here: the league, because another player got arrested and this incident had the added embarrassment of NFL's reigning Fastest Man getting quickly caught by police. Or the girl, because of her, you know … actual black eye.

Monday May 21

  • 1 Red Sox at Yankees: 7 pm, ESPN

    The Yankees are in desperate need of a sweep to get back in contention in the American League East. And then another sweep would help, too. And then another sweep after that. And then the Yankees could benefit by the entire Boston roster coming down with bird flu. And then one more sweep. And then the abolition of pitching.

  • 2 VooDoo at Soul: 7:30 pm, ESPN2

    Jon Bon Jovi's Philadelphia Soul have lost six in a row, dropping them behind the New Orleans Voodoo for the final spot in the National Conference playoffs. That means the VooDoo are wanted (waaaan-tey-ee-aid) dead or alive.

  • 3 Cavaliers at Pistons: 8 pm, TNT

    Tonight the Cavaliers open their first conference finals since 1992. Expect them to struggle without the sturdy leadership provided by Hot Rod Williams' flattop.