Move over John Daly ... you've been supplanted

Tue, Dec 8
7:40
PM ET

Dear John,

Sorry, there's a new sideshow in town.

You've trashed hotel rooms. You've used a beer can as a tee. You've smoked on the course, been ejected from Hooters, smashed a fan's camera and crashed your RV into an overpass -- to say nothing of your choice of pants. When you've needed it, we've been there with the attention you've craved for so long.

But right now, we're no longer interested.

We didn't see it coming, either. A month ago, your dropping 115 pounds, talking about writing an autobiography and wanting Matt Damon to play you in a movie would have been a big story. Almost as big as you were.

You were a train wreck extraordinaire.

But we've found something even better.

Maybe this could be good for you. Tiger took your place, so how about taking his? You're in the best shape of your life. So what if he's got 12 more majors than you? One at a time, big fella. One at a time.

Hate to cut this short, but we've got to refresh TMZ. Wouldn't want to miss anything.

C'est la vie.

Sincerely,
America