Here are all the latest rumors from the Page 2 hot stove:
The Orioles are looking to trade divisions with anyone. Quickly. "Please, God, let this happen. We beg of you," said a source in the Baltimore front office.
With Bobby Abreu and now Hideki Matsui reportedly on board, the Angels are also inching closer to deals with Johnny Damon, Bernie Williams, Paul O'Neill and Joe Pepitone.
Dodgers owner Frank McCourt has offered his wife their springer spaniel, Mitsy, in their divorce if he can keep his Bugatti.
The Red Sox and Yankees are in a bidding war for a fictional Cuban prospect some kid in Rochester made up on his blog.
Yankees GM Brian Cashman is close to acquiring the Indians' top five prospects in exchange for the rest of those Grady Sizemore photos.
The Kansas City Royals are working on a deal for a new long-distance provider because "no one is calling about acquiring any of our players. Surely there is something wrong with our phones."
The Washington Nationals have been offered two first-round draft picks for speedy outfielder Nyjer Morgan by Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis.