Brian Babineau/NBAE/Getty ImagesGlen Davis wants a new nickname? Well, we'll see about that.

Because it's too accurate, Glen Davis no longer wants "Big Baby" to be his nickname. Instead, he wants to be called "Uno-Uno" -- a nod to his jersey number, and Chad Ochocinco's poor Spanish grammar.

Nice try, big fella, but you don't get to pick your nickname. Somehow Kobe Bryant got away with this -- but Glen Davis? Not for 5.3 points per game, he doesn't.

While we're at it, it's time for us to go up and down the Celtics roster and make some changes. Davis and the rest of the C's will have to take what we give them.

• RASHEED WALLACE

Nickname: Sheed
New Nickname: Uncle Sheed

For years, that gray patch was the only sign of age on the perpetually youthful Sheed. Now, we wonder why the rest of his hair hasn't gotten the hint.

• RAY ALLEN

Nickname: Sugar Ray
New Nickname: Karma

Got Kobe'd for the game winner and missed the 3 at the buzzer on Sunday? Gotcha, say the basketball gods! They don't forget, Mr. Shuttlesworth.

• KEVIN GARNETT

Nickname: The Big Ticket
New Nickname: The Can't Fix It

Too young to remember the end for Chris Webber? It was like this, just without all the cussing.

• RAJON RONDO

Nickname: None
New Nickname: Ra-On

That's right -- no J. And as long as teams do everything short of turn their backs on him outside, he'll be rayon to Chris Paul and Deron Williams' silk.

• GLEN DAVIS

Nickname: Big Baby
New Nickname: Dos-Siete-Cinco

How's this for motivation -- either he stays in shape, or it's "Glen" forever. Careful what you wish for, Big Baby.