If you've ever been to an NBA All-Star Weekend, you know how these things go. If not, let me give you some tips on what NOT to do in Dallas this weekend.
1. Don't try to get into Jay-Z and LeBron's party. If your name isn't Maverick, Rich, Randy, Worldwide, Lynn, Gloria, Oprah, Gail, Pharrell or Beyoncé, forget it. You'll be telling parking lot stories afterward.
2. Don't stand outside the players' hotel waiting for Kobe, Melo or Dwight to sign your Cavaliers jersey.
3. Don't give Nate Robinson advice on what to try during the dunk contest just because he's your size.
4. Don't stand around a hotel lobby in a mink coat drinking a bottle of champagne out of a straw.
5. Don't try to keep up with Diddy.
6. Don't attempt to outdrink Charles Barkley, or out-gamble Michael Jordan.
7. Don't think that Dallas is Las Vegas. What goes on in Dallas this weekend will more than likely follow you home.