"Oh my God, his caddie killed Kenny!"
We may hear that line Wednesday when "South Park" opens its 14th season with a Tiger Woods episode. And one thing is for sure -- if Tiger Woods has one fan left in this universe, it will be Cartman. We're guessing that the show's creators -- Matt Stone and Trey Parker -- looked at each other and yelled in unison: "Sex addiction!"
And the Sunday Brunch wants to give a shoutout to Ari Fleischer, who is spin-doctoring Tiger's return to golf. Add that to Ari's list of former clients that includes George W. Bush, Mark McGwire and the BCS. It's too bad Ari doesn't have a time machine. He could have done wonders for some leaders of the past.
Other Brunch appetizers:
• Lakers forward Lamar Odom and his wife, Khloe Kardashian, were on TBS' "Lopez Tonight" talking to host George Lopez about Lamar's, uh, habits in bed. Apparently he really likes Double-Stuff Oreos as Khloe said: "He sleeps on them so they melt in the sheets." All together now: Ewwweeee.
• Jake Delhomme is going to throw his interceptions in a Cleveland Browns' uniform this season. Perfect.
• The Jacksonville Jaguars polled season-ticket holders of if they should draft Tim Tebow -- and were shocked when 55 percent said "no." The Jags then scratched the next question on the list: "Do you want us to stay in Jacksonville?"
Enough of the bits of breakfast tid. On to the main courses: