Seeing as how Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech last September became an instant classic, we decided to jump ahead to see what MJ has in store for his introduction of longtime partner in crime Scottie Pippen into the Hall on Friday.
Here's what Page 2 imagines Jordan might say:
"Ladies and gentlemen, you all know who I am. I need no introduction. But the man standing to my right? He may be unfamiliar to some of you, because for 11 years he had to play in my shadow -- which I wouldn't wish on anybody.
"My man, Pip, you shocked the $#@& outta me when you asked me to introduce you. But then I started to think about it: Who else better than me to bring you in here?
"I'm not going to beat around the bush. Y'all remember my speech last year. A lot of you didn't want Scottie here. A lot of you all feel that he doesn't deserve to be here -- that without me he'd be nothing. Well, I came here tonight to say that y'all are wrong.
"Pip is one of the greatest to ever play this game. I should know. You all should have given him the MVP in '94, the first year I left. But you didn't. I should have given him the Finals MVP in '97. But I didn't. Right now, we're going to rectify all that. The writers cheated him out of the MVP that year and Hue Hollins stopped him from going to the Finals. And Pip, here's the '97 Finals MVP trophy. Not mine. I had a replica made so you could have one just like the one at my house.
"One more thing needs to be cleared up. Pip was never my sidekick. I was too good to have anyone share my spotlight -- see how they raised the prices for tonight's tickets when they learned I was going to speak? At the same time, Pip was too good to be anyone else's sidekick. He was not Robin, and I was not Batman. I'm not Oprah, and he ain't Gayle. We were a team within a team. Together, no one could beat us. 646! Right, Pip? Six-for-six. None of y'all out there can say that, can you? Patrick? Barkley? Bird? Magic? B. Russ?
"I mean Bryon Russell, not you, Bill.
"Look, people always say to me, 'Michael, Scottie's not in your league; he's not a Hall of Famer. He never won anything without you.' Well, guess what? I never won anything without him either. Don't you all ever forget that."