Fat and 41: Can I catch Brett Kern's punts?

Wed, Sep 8

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- My prospects were mixed, depending on the evaluator.

As I toured the AFC South during training camp, I made special requests to chat with punters and punt returners. With a pending appointment to attempt to field practice punts from the Titans' Brett Kern, I was searching for advice, and seeking forecasts.

In Houston, Texans receiver and returner Jacoby Jones said I could catch three and a half of eight punts, with a falling-down catch counting as the half.

In Jacksonville, Jaguars halfback and occasional returner Maurice Jones-Drew sized me up and said he thought I could catch two of eight.

In Anderson, Ind., Colts punter Pat McAfee expected less of me.

"The first four you'll be confused," he said. "You'll get lucky on the fifth one, the sixth one you'll get overconfident. If I were you, I'd just close my eyes and hope it hit me in the chest … I think if you get one, you should be happy."

OK, what stupid thing is Kuharsky up to now?

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