Rick Reilly offers 'complisults' for your friends

Wed, Sep 22
Brett Favre, Pete Carroll and Eli ManningUS Presswire, Getty ImagesComplisult Brett Favre's Vikings, Pete Carroll's Seahawks or Eli Manning's Giants!

A "complisult" is half-compliment, half-insult. It's not until you're driving home in your Prius that a complisult slaps you across the cheek.

A few complisults:

"You're so pretty. I'll bet you used to model, am I right?"

"You drive the coolest minivan in the neighborhood!"

"The weight you've gained in your face looks good. Takes out the creases."

Complisults are essential to getting in your digs without getting your nose flattened into a tortilla for you. During football season, complisulting is essential. For instance, if you're sitting on a stool at your favorite sports bar this Sunday and a stranger plops down next to you in the wrong jersey, you need one ready. For instance ...

To a Steelers fan, you could say: "You're so lucky. Your team makes news all year round!"

To an Eagles fan: "Not a lot of teams would give a convicted felon control of their team. Good for you guys."

To a Jags fan: "I'll bet those home TV blackouts are a relief some weeks, huh?"

To a Chargers fan: "Man, you must really relish the regular season!"

To a Vikings fan: "It's so cool that you got that old drifter dude back to quarterback you guys again!"

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